Australia needs all the help we can get
in the World Cup That’s why we studied the world’s best football teams and applied what we learnt to this training camp Lesson number one: appealing to the refs All the best players get right up in their face Let’s go Hudson show me what you got! Excellent stuff, excellent stuff Good work Natasha – I really believe that we deserved a penalty! Here’s an idea – bump him and pretend that it was accidental We don’t spend any time on kicking or dribbling That’s not how you play football The real art form is diving Are you kidding me ref? He took my leg out! Ooh, a bit dizzy To be a world-class team, we need world-class goal celebrations Up until this point, Australia’s only goal celebration is to act surprised and that’s not going to cut it That’s why we’ve come up with some uniquely Aussie alternatives If we take this training seriously We could have a real chance at the World Cup I think that’s me done for the day, coach Good on you, son Ah, penalty! Penalty! Wow! Look how much he’s learnt already!