Bonus Deep Cuts: Hasan Talks Space, The Avengers, And More | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

Um, this is my favorite
part of the show. Oh, god. Alright, this one’s…
This is actually really good. “How much do you care
about space tourism? Why should we go slash
not go to the moon, Mars, and beyond?” This is from Vincenzo
Giordano. This is not a real name. That is not a real name. Your name’s Vincenzo Giordano? Do you own a pizza parlor? Like, you’re a character in a
Hallmark movie. It’s just like, Jennie, you know. Vincenzo, what do you do?
We go to the moon? Mars? Why not? The point of going to Mars? I agree, man. I don’t get it. I honestly don’t get it. Like, all these billionaires
have all this money. I’m like, “Save Earth.” You know what I mean, like,
you’re a billionaire – save Earth. Like, get water that’s
clean to Flint, Michigan. But they’re like, “You know where else
they have water? Mars. We’re going to–” Like, I don’t get it. The crazy part is it’s, like, if they’re that rich and
they know that much, and they’re, like, all of them– Like Branson, Musk, Bezos, they’re all like, “We gotta
get away from Earth.” I’m like, “What do you
know that we don’t know?” Right, like this obsession
to colonize another place– I think it also is – because as an Indian person
I just think that, like, colonialism isn’t
en vogue anymore. So it’s, like, the new thing rich white people can do that won’t get them cancelled,
you know what I mean? Because they’re like,
“There’s no martians, we’re not gonna, they’re just – I’m just gonna colonize
the red dirt. That’s all.” Um, what do you think, man?
You think we should go? Space, you think we should go? I– See the thing is, like, I want – that’s such a
beautiful sentence. But based on what you told me
about your dad not hitting you– I don’t believe this.
I don’t believe this. Like, I just don’t believe you. Like, I wanna believe you,
that’s such a beautiful moment, and we could cap
the video with that. And then it’d be
like, “Subscribe below.” But, like, it– People in the comments
would be like, “Pff, liar.” Alright, let me ask
you guys a question. Did you guys watch
Avengers: Endgame? I did. Did you watch it? I didn’t watch it yet because
I’m waiting to take my kids. Oh, you’re gonna take the kids? Yeah. Which might be a mistake. – I haven’t watched the last, like, seven.
– Is it sad? No, I haven’t
watched the last seven. – Is it worth–
– It’s sad. First of all, is it good? – Because I haven’t seen the last seven movies.
– It’s good. Did you hear that Klay
Thompson walked out of the last hour of the movie? Why? He wasn’t feeling it. Because it’s four hours? Well, it’s three hours, but he
said the plot didn’t grab him. Woooooooow. Wait, wait– Why is that such a– I’m, I’m in agreement, I feel like
every time I watch a Marvel movie– Like, like, when you
eat McDonald’s you feel, like, everything
but nothing at the same time. That’s the Avengers! – No, like, he already –
– It’s all the fucking same. He already put two
hours into the movie. Yeah. That’s, like,
worth your time. – Ohhhhh.
– Just finish it! Yeah, at that point, commit.
At that point, commit. – At that point.
– Yeah. Yeah, just– Fuck it out for the
last hour, my guy, come on, like– But, but do you– but when you
watch them do you feel something? Because I don’t–
Because it’s always like, – “Ahhhh, New York’s destroyed again.”
– I felt something– I felt something because everyone
in the movie theater was crying. But, because I’m smart and
I knew it was three hours, I didn’t drink any
liquids the whole day, so I had no tears in
my body whatsoever. So, I was watching it I was like, “Oh, word? She died?
You feel like that? Hmm.” Desus, do you
cry during movies? I– You know what, I don’t cry during movies, but then I’ll cry at,
like, the weirdest parts. At like, like,
someone would be like– “Oh, he’s making a sandwich–” Yeah. And I’d be like, “Oh shit,
I had a sandwich once.” – I give it up super easy.
– Yeah. That’s cause – Worst thing
being in the movies is, like, you see someone else
crying, you’re like, “Ah, look at this bitch nigga.” “Look at this motherfucker.” And then next thing you know, like,
the dog dies, you’re like, “Ahhhh!” I cried– I cried– I took my wife, we went to
go see The Good Dinosaur, the Pixar movie years ago. Yo, why did you do that? And I was bawling! Why did you– You did
that with no kid? No kid. Why would you do that? I fuck with Pixar! That’s emotional torture. They spent, like, 20
years making the movie. They’re like, “We
started working on –” You ever see, like,
the DVDs they’re like, “We started working on
The Good Dinosaur in 1994.” I’m like, “What?” Like, Tupac was still alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The most interesting person I’ve
talked to in my in-person interviews, uh, was Xiaowen [Liang] who
was the Chinese protestor. She was really awesome. She’s
a Chinese feminist protestor. Uh, she was really funny.
Like, she was super, super funny. She, like, tore me a new asshole. Uh, she’s very funny. You’ve done studio podcasts – without an audience –
– Yes. As well as live podcasts… Yes. …with an audience.
Which one do you prefer? I prefer without an
audience for two reasons. Uh huh. First one is when
there’s an audience, I think sometimes you
feel the need to perform. Uh huh. So you’re kind of, like, you’re not in it because you’re always
sort of, like, checking – the reaction of the room.
– Right. Um, and then it also
might make you not wanna maybe say things that you
truly feel because you’re like, “Oh, I don’t want to be
judged, like, I don’t know how people are gonna take it.” And then the other reason
is just like, you can tru– Like WNYC is, like, so chill. Like, I would
just, like, show up, no makeup on, like, just like, my period
panties on, and, like– With sweatpants
over them, obviously. I’m not just walking
in with panties on. But I mean, and you can just be,
like, so casual and just chill and so I love that, like, the– I think the performative-ness of being
a woman sometimes is very exhausting. – Got it.
– Yeah. What’s up? We’re not doing one more– Eddie, we’re gonna
keep it rolling, baby. Yeah, we’re having fun. We’re having too
much fun right now. Yeah? Alright. You know what I think it is?
I think it’s cause you get secrets. – Yes!
– Like, when you’re solo like that– Because I can’t– Like,
when I did the podcast, you go into the WNYC offices, It’s chill. …get your little coffee. They got, like, the padding on
the wall, the styrofoam thing. It’s great. Yeah and they’re just like,
“Hasan, you got married, right?” And you’re just like, “Alright.
Let’s talk about it.” Favorite book – is this book called On
Writing by Stephen King. It was really– It’s, like, all about,
like, the writing process. It’s one of the best books I’ve ever
read about the creative process. And then one of my
favorite fictional books, uh, fiction books,
is probably Shantaram. That was really
fun. Shantaram, yeah. They were gonna make a movie
on it, but then they stopped. I know you generally don’t
do act outs, but do you have, uh, your best – this is something
we’ve been doing at the office – your best Kawhi
Leonard laugh impression? “Heh huh huh huh huh huh.” Alright, “I’m a die-hard Pistons fan – pick and stick. As someone who has a team
that can relate to your pain, do you support the
idea of teams tanking?” Um, yeah, I say tank, but you
just can’t make it obvious. You know what I mean? Like, just, like, put in bench
players, rotate them in. Let the players, like,
do Instagram on the bench. Just do things that’ll,
like, keep them distracted, that way you can get Zion,
so, I would say that. Just if you’re desperate
just be creative, like start your point
guard at center and just, just see what happens. Okay Toaster Strudel
or Pop-Tarts? This is a really important
question – this is just for me. Um, I think I’m old
school Pop-Tarts. And sometimes I like them,
just, cold. I don’t even like– Straight up? Yeah. Right, you just open
the wrapper… it’s dry. You need – here’s the thing– There’s no Toaster
Strudel fans in the– It’s like, Toaster Strudel
is fine, but I’m like, – What?
– “You’re just trying to come for Pop-Tarts,” and I don’t like that. Yeah, putting your own
icing on it is the best part. Toaster Strudel? Isn’t it always a breakfast item? Oh, they made an
egg and cheese one. Wait, there’s a mac and cheese? Egg– egg and cheese.
Egg and cheese. Oh, okay. I was, like– – Egg and cheese.
– Okay. Here’s what you do. You – I totally understand
the frosting to, uh, sorta surface area dilemma. So they give you one packet per. What you do is you
use the second packet you use half of that and then
you leave that for your sister. Okay. You fuck over generations to
come. It’s the American way. Oh, no. Are you always on time? Always? Now, is that a thing that you
also learned from childhood? So, you were always late and
then you got better over time? What was the critical moment? Long– You do it half the time? Okay. So it’s a five hour flight. What? Are you a masochist?
Why would you do that? So, you guys will go
four hours before– I know, but– You mi– So, something happened.
You missed a flight, huh, once. Do you know what– I haven’t
even learned my lesson. This was like two months ago, I fell asleep I had one of
those 6:00 AM flights. I fell asleep at the gate. I missed my flight because
I fell asleep at the gate. I just, like, knocked out. No, no one cares about me. No one cares, no
one cares about– And I called my dad and
he told me the same thing he’s like, “Hasan no
one cares about you. No one cares about where you
have to go, your problems.” He even told me, “People won’t
even come to your Janazah,” I’m like, “Ahhh.” He’s real, he’s a real dad. He’s a real dad. He’s a super legend. Super big facts. But I didn’t change. When is he coming on the show? He would love– I can’t do that, he would, he would feed
off of it too much. I’d just love to see my dad
do the jump to the stage.

64 thoughts on “Bonus Deep Cuts: Hasan Talks Space, The Avengers, And More | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

  1. Mars isn't an either/or situation: yes, getting some billionaires to actually do something for, say, Flint, would be great, but we can solve climate change in the next ten years (if we hypothetically, optimistically get our act together) and it wouldn't matter if we get hit by a large enough asteroid strike, which could easily be "climate change in a single day" and which most researchers consider a matter of when, not if.

    We're working on ways to divert incoming impacts, but for the foreseeable future, we very literally have all of our eggs in one basket, as far as life on Earth goes. So this "fix the Earth first" stuff is just a different way of saying, "we'll worry about this later" … same as climate change.

    And look where that's gotten us.

  2. MARS WE MAY NEED!!! Have you watched tv show called The 100 ? If not watch it stuff will happen to earth. Just because of rich people.

  3. Silliest take on space exploration I've heard in a long time.
    "They must know something we don't know."

    They apparently know something he doesn't know. 😉

    And, not getting Marvel movies… is hilarious for the guy in love with Pixar. Whatever, on this stuff.

  4. I guess it's like having a backup plan and common paranoia that the humans will never change. For me that's the point.

  5. Dear Hasan Minhaj,
    I want to work for your team.
    I don't think, that me living in another country is a hindrance X)
    Really now, I want to work for you.

  6. Hasan the beginning of the patriot act theme song sounds like the beginning of trophies by Drake it’s sickkk

  7. This ABCD is no patriot. He got famous by sucking the metaphorical dick of the left.If you hate the president so much you can leave….

  8. i LOVE that the closed captions had xiowen liang's last name bracketed in. whoever's doing the captions did their research! that's so so rare bc they're usually hired out and subsequently the names are almost always wrong because the captioners don't know who the people in the videos are (not the freelance captioners' fault when that happens, just obnoxious and shows the caps haven't been checked by someone involved in the project). so blessed by this show, love in my heart

    Some research material on Indian population control problem in present scenario, if you intend to take another risk.

  10. "Space travel is waste of time and money. You should save the earth."

    1. Earth does not need saving from us. She survive dinosaurs, meteors, quakes and etc. To her, humanity just a phase . It's your comfort of living that in jeopardy.
    2. That's what you people said when developing airplanes. You couldn't understand unless you experienced it.

    If you could not understand the romance of space exploration, you will find it hard to comprehen the importance of perspectives.

  11. The smell is illegal since world war 2 and only third worlds use them. They clone and copy and lie and disease. First worlds have privacy no matter what even for murderers.

  12. Hi Hasan, big fans for your show! Could you please also share your option on the HK and Taiwan event? It seems that democracy will never happen on our land of China. I am not saying the western democracy is the best practice of democracy. But at least, people should have the freedom to speak out their option as long as the option is not threatening to others. I am always wondering what does the country mean? In China, we have a law, called “splitting the country”, which is a crime of sentences. This is exactly the crime our government is trying to put up to those HKers who are protesting against CCP. If the concept of a country is based on the people live there, why the people live in HK can't decide their fate. Please kindly share some options on how to evaluate this event.

  13. I love Hasan, but damn that is some ignorance about space travel. One extinction level event and we're fucked. Expanding our reach ensures our existence as a species. Some people get it, not that they aren't looking out for themselves first. Overall, it's a species thing not a race thing. We aren't leaving earth behind, but we have finite resources and the sooner we develop truly reliable space travel technology the better off we will be as a species. That's the difference between vision and "short term" fixes. If we're gonna cut money anywhere it's the military. Wasting billions on blowing ourselves up. Anyway, love, peace, and kindness to you Hasan, I think you bring up a lot of great points.

  14. Hi PatriotAct/Hasan, can you please do a story/follow-up on Education in the U.S.? In the 2010 documentary "Waiting for Superman", the stats were "Of 30 developed countries, the U.S. ranked 25th in math, 21st in Science, but US kids rank #1 in confidence" Can you see what has changed? I mean, isn't the poor education the source of a lot of the dysfunction in America with respect to gun violence, jobs and economic opportunities, and ill-informed and under-educated people choosing governments that don't serve their needs?

  15. Thing is Musk is spending on earth, probably the one that makes the most impact. Space and earth are not mutually exclusive

  16. They want to leave cause most other billionaires and relatively ignorant people do things knowingly and unknowingly to harm the planet. And they can't do anything about it. My opinion don't fight me.

  17. You advance humanity by doing the science, and a lot of that gets done in space. It's how we get to post-scarcity.

  18. I agreed. Why don't billionaires invest money for genius people to create technologies or machines that could help saving the Earth instead of running away to other planets. Like they're one of the biggest reason the nature destroyed. That's how the gain alot of money.

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