Chatting with VIVEK SHRAYA: Limb Difference, Transness, & the Media

♪ Stump Kitchen Stump Kitchen ♪ ♪ Gluten-free vegan eats ♪ ♪ Stump-tastic treats yeah ♪ (laughs) ♪ Stump Kitchen Stump Kitchen ♪ ♪ Gluten-free vegan eats ♪ ♪ Stump-tastic treats ♪ – Have you ever met someone
with a limb difference before? (crickets chirping) – I haven’t heard the phrase
limb difference before, actually.
– Mmm, yeah. – Do you feel comfortable
clarifying what that means? – Totally, yeah. I don’t know how recent
the term has been used but it’s kind of like the
more inclusive way to talk about folks who are
missing part of their limb or multiple limbs. And it can happen in a
lot of different ways, like from birth, which is in my case. And that in a lot of ways, or through an accident
or illness or whatever. So, yeah, I’m limb different. Here we are. Like maybe the last 10
years it’s been used. – Wow. Yeah, ’cause I feel like
you might actually be one of the first people that I like– – Yes!
– At least that I’ve encountered–
– Yes! – That I’ve liked remembered. – I love being your first. (laughs) I just had to. Do you have any desire
to like ask me questions, touch my stump, anything like– – Doesn’t that feel invasive? – No.
– Okay. – It’s a beautiful part
of how I like share just like learning and, no I love it. For some people it’s really not great so you always wanna ask first. – Of course. – Like, “Hey can I ask a
question about your arm?” or whatever.
– And that’s like, I guess the training that I’ve had around, like any kind of
quote-unquote difference– – Totally. – In the way that I feel
about like transness, or browness or queerness. It’s like, you know,
each of our experience is very different, but I’m also like, “Don’t touch me.” (laughs) – Yes, like you don’t have
the right to explore my body without my permission
and without asking first. – I actually love that about you. I love that you’re just
like, “You can touch it. “You can talk to me about it.” ‘Cause like for me, I feel
so private about the things, not that our differences are the same, but I feel like in some ways very private about like my body in
relation to transness. – Yeah, yeah, which is
super important to remember because I feel like for
so many folks in the media who are trans and have trans
as part of their history or experience, there’s
this expectation that– – They’re gonna talk
to you about your body. – That it’s gonna be like huh uh uh. And it’s like no. Hell to the no, you know. – But, I mean, I think this
is such a good learning in terms of like not making
assumptions about anyone. Just because you know
about a particular person or particular identity doesn’t
mean it like crosses over. – Totally. Yeah, like, the next person that we meet with a limb difference, you know, may not want to talk about it for so many different reasons– – Might not like onions. (laughs) – F*%k yes. (beep) Vivek. – Hi.
– Hi. – Alexis. – Okay so. – Onions. – Yeah, you wanna– – Just don’t even look at me. “Come do my show,” and I was like, “of course.” And she’s like, “let us
cook the number one thing “that you don’t like to eat.” – I didn’t know. – I won’t be testing
and I won’t be cutting. But I will be cheerleading. – Have you always not liked onions? – Mm-hmm. – Oh wow, good. (beep) – I’m never gonna. (laughs) This is now embedded as part
of our growing friendship, I’m never gonna (beep) live this down. Thank God for sweet potatoes. Ah! Anyway yeah. – I mean, you only let me
make like three of these. (gasps) And they were these nice
healthy size like half moons, and then you’re like, “No,
actually I’m gonna cut these “in half and you get two.” – Oh my God. (laughs) Oh it’s happening. Just gonna cut all that
out of the episode. Just kidding, no we won’t. Great okay, well, we’re done. We did it, we survived. Thank you for being here. You’re such a good pal. I beep love you. ♪ Stump Kitchen Stump Kitchen ♪ ♪ Gluten-free vegan eats ♪ ♪ Stump-tastic treats ♪ Remember these. (laughs)

7 thoughts on “Chatting with VIVEK SHRAYA: Limb Difference, Transness, & the Media

  1. Omg so being married to and dating teams folks in the past has blown me away! Cis people think they have some secret affiliation with me to ask about someone's parts. Like, how bout no? I effing HATE that the expectation exists for me to discuss that! Do you think it's the same for limb difference? Like someone is afraid to ask you about your arm so they whisper behind your back? So childish!

  2. Awesome! She seems like a fun person and I love her style. And you are, as always, fabulous. The accessible shirt is awesome.

    I also appreciate the thoughtful discussion about body touching. I am more like Vivek– I find it invasive when strangers approach me and touch me and ask questions. People seem to expect I'd welcome questions about my visible disability but I freeze up and despise it. Interestingly, of all the people I met since my differences became easily apparent to see, you are one of the only people who has not ever invasively asked questions but instead saw me as a person instead of a disabled person. I really appreciate that about you. ❤️

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *