– Oh, come here, Santa. – (grunts) – I can stuff you in here. Get in here. Come on, come on, come on.
– [Santa] I’m trying. I don’t know if (grunting) Where? That? I can’t fit in that. – No no, yeah, you can fit,
you can fit, just try it. – (grunting) – Squeeze! – (grunting) – Get – (screams) (upbeat dance music) – Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Hide and Seek. Today, joined with the one,
the only, Nick Barbarian. And Santa Clause! -[Santa] Oh ho, hello Preston! – How you been doing? So Santa Claus, do you like
me, even though I’m Jewish? – [Santa] Well, yes. I like everyone. I just–
– Aww. – [Santa] If anything, I like you more because I don’t have to stop at your home. – (laughing)
– [Santa] So many homes. (sighing) – I didn’t realize that actually that’s kind of like a big advantage. Santa loves Jews, ladies and gentlemen. You’ve seen it here first
-[Santa] Love ’em. Love ’em. (laughter) – [Nick] Come look at this little secret (door latch clicks) This is my secret Candy Cane Clubhouse. (door latch clicks) – No.
– You can come in, though. – No.
– Yes. You can – stop (door latch clicks repeatedly) -[Nick] Stop opening the doors.
– You spoiled it. – Alright Nick, you can start ‘er up. (singing)Start ‘er up, Nick. Start ‘er up. – [Nick] Don’t tell me
what to do, Preston. – Start the – start the games,
Santa Claus gonna get mad. – [Santa] I’m gonna get furious. – See? He’s getting furious, Nick. – [Nick] Santa, can you
give me a special gift if I start the game up?
Like, an extra gift? Early?
-[Santa] I’ll give you a gift. I’ll let you live, Nick.
(laughter) – [Nick] Oh, oh my gosh. – Savage Santa Claus. (laughing) – [Santa] Aw, yep. (base beat music) -[Santa] Look, not to sound like this, but we’re really down to the wire here. I’m going to be flying all over the world. I just want you to start –
Nick, start the game, please. – Nick, start the game.
You heard Santa Claus. – [Nick] Okay, okay. Only because Santa asked. – [Santa] Thank you, thank you.
– [Nick] I wouldn’t have done it if it was just you.
-[Santa] Otherwise you’re going on that list. The Bad List. The Really Bad List. – And you’re gonna get nothing but coal. -[Santa] I’m seeking? – [Nick] Yeah, I figured, you know, hey. – Yes, of course, Santa! – [Nick] Santa, it’s your village, why not? Why not make you seek? – [Santa] (laughs)
– Oh, Nick, Nick! – [Nick] What? What?
– Let’s hide together. – [Santa] They didn’t design this right. I don’t know anything about this. – [Nick] Preston, this never works for me. It always ends up – – Yes, yes it does. Shhhh.
– No, no, no. – It’ll work, it’ll work.
(door latch clicks) -[Nick] Preston, what are you doing?
You’re leading me nowhere. – Shhh. Shut up, dude, I’m
trying to find some place to go. (door latch clicks) – [Santa] Sounds promising…
– [Nick] You know what? You’re on your own here. – Nick, Nick, Nick. Come back, come back. – [Santa] …for me – [Nick] No, I’m already gone, Preston. (door latch clicks) – [Santa] Oh! Alright, here we go. – Oh my god, I’m not losing to you, Santa. – [Santa] (laughing) Listen,
you do have an advantage. Because this is not the
way I designed this place. At all. I was gone or
a week, I came back and I don’t even know what this is. – [Nick] Well, Santa,
I have another question Where are all the elves?
There’s no elves here. Don’t you usually have a bunch of elves? – Oh, he had to get rid of them. – [Nick] What?
– [Santa] Well, in a way… – [Unison] Yeah. – It’s just time, they
weren’t working hard enough. – [Santa] You know, Child
Labor was all over me on this. I tried to explain, they’re
just – they’re little people with sharp pointy ears, but they’re like Nope, no, they’re kids. – [Nick] Oh my god, okay.
– [Santa] Yeah. I have to do this all alone, now. – [Nick] Wow, oh my, wow. – That’s a big undertaking
to do alone, Santa. – [Santa] Uh huh. Yup. Yup.
– [Nick] Good for you, Santa. – [Santa] Good thing I like the kids. (door latch clicks) – [Nick] Ow! Preston, stop it,
I’m trying to get in there. (laughing) (door latch clicks) Listen, I hate you.
– No! (laughing) – [Nick] Don’t do this to me.
(laughing) – [Santa] Where are you?
(door latch clicks) – [Nick] I’m stuck!
(laughing) You know what? That’s it. Santa, Uh, Guess what?
– [Santa] Yup? – I have a present for you.
– No, no, no. – [Santa] You do? I never get presents (shushing sounds) – [Nick] It’s a very special present. (3 dramatic chords) (Here Comes Santa Claus plays) – [Santa] Oh ho ho, hello, friends – I see him, I see him. Nick, hide, hide. He’s coming, he’s coming,
he’s coming, coming. (door latch clicks) -[Nick] Oh, he’s coming here?
Oh my gosh (screams). – Nick. – [Nick] This is not a good hiding spot. -[Nick] What are you doing? Are
you trying to parkour? This isn’t a parkour match, Preston. – Nick, run. Just run! He’s coming. – [Nick] I don’t believe
that Santa’s coming. I mean –
(door latch clicks) – [Santa] You should believe. – [Nick] If there’s a song
about Santa coming to town, then maybe I would believe
it, but there’s not, so… – [Santa] There is, there
is. And you know what? I’m sick of hearing of it, to be honest. I hear it – it’s been
a millennia that song. – [Nick] I feel like that’s just something you say so people think you’re modest. But in reality, it’s
probably your ring tone – [Santa] – I don’t
love it. What are you -? Alright, I don’t know how you – – (gasps). Nooooo. No. Nick help me. – [Nick] Uh, Preston, remember how I said you were on your own? – [Santa] – There was no help for you. Your hand was sticking out of the wall. – What do you mean it was
sticking out of the wall? – [Santa] Do not destroy my village. – I wasn’t destroying
(exhales sharply). Oh God. – [Nick] Uh, Santa, I think you might have not accidentally tagged
Mr. Preston over there. (crunching)
– Ho ho ho! – [Nick] Oh, no. He’s an elf.
– [Santa] Yes. You know what? You’re
gonna work for me now. – Child labor laws.
– [Nick] This is how Santa gets his elves.
(footsteps) He plays Hide n Seek and tags people. -[Santa] You’re not a child, Preston. I know you’re not a child.
– I am a child. – Help me find your friend,
and then what we can do is you guys can load my sleigh. (laughing) – (inhales sharply)
-[Santa] There he is. – Because I’m top – (inhales
sharply) Oh, there he is. – [Nick] No, I’m not.
-[Santa] Oh, no. I see him. – [Nick] No you don’t.
(footsteps) – Santa, we have to go now.
(footsteps) – [Santa] Yep, go get him.
(keyboard clicking) ‘Cause it’s hard for me to
run, that’s a lot of cookies. – There he goes.
– [Santa] (coughing) – Where’d he go? Aw, Santa’s so fat now. – [Santa] Yup, yeah, yeah.
(keyboard clicking) I stopped smoking that pipe.
(door latch clicks) – You gotta stop that, Santa. Tobacco’s not good for your health. – [Santa] It’s awful. Nope, nope. – [Nick] Now, here’s the thing, Preston. You might have thought that you saw me, but in reality you saw a
figment of your imagination that I projected into
– I love figs – [Nick] your mind to confuse you. I love Fig Newtons, too
– They’re so tasty – [Nick] but that’s not
what we’re talking about – But they’re very processed
– [Santa] Really good. – [Nick] Now I’m hungry. – [Santa] They’re really
good. I hate Hydrox, though. – [Nick] Wait, you like
Fig Newtons, Santa? I always thought that you
liked chocolate-chip cookies, and sugar cookies
– [Santa] Love ’em. Well, it gets old. Listen,
I’m all over the world and I’m getting a million
chocolate-chip cookies I get sick of it. – That sounds kind of conceited, Santa. – [Santa] Oh, it does? – Mm-hm. – [Santa] How many chocolate
cookies do you have right now? – Yeah, uh, I don’t have
any. I don’t have any. – [Santa] Yeah, okay. Alright, good. – Because you won’t share any with me. – [Santa] No, I won’t now. No. – (laughing) You wouldn’t
have before, either. – [Santa] Hey, Preston,
here’s something for you. (door latch clicks) You’re on the Naughty List. Forever. – [Nick] See? He can do that, Preston. You should be careful.
– [Santa] Uh-huh. Yeah. – Well, he doesn’t even visit my house. We had the discussion. – [Santa] I hit the Enter Key once and you are moved, my friend. – [Nick] Oh, Preston what are
you doing? What are you doing? (high pitched laughing) I don’t like this. I
don’t like this at all. (door latch clicks)
– Nick, come out. – [Nick] No, this igloo is
closed for business, sir. – [Santa] Preston, that could redeem you. – [Nick] No, it’s closed, Preston. – [Santa] You’ll be on the Good List. – [Nick] You know. Don’t
do this. Listen, Preston. – I don’t care about
the Good List anymore. This is about something more. – [Santa] Revenge? – Yes. – [Nick] I feel like it’s
not about anything more. (door latch clicks)
Look, Preston, I didn’t want to do this, but here
you go. Just put these – -[Santa] Ho ho – oh, ow. Cactus? Why are you giving me cactus? Why?
(laughing) (sword clinks) – [Nick] It’s just –
just roll with it, Santa. You’re fine, you’re fine.
(door latch clicks) -[Santa] Whoa, whoa, hey, okay, there, buddy. Let’s slow down a bit.
Whoa, don’t need that here. We’re gonna have a problem
– Look man, I’m an angry elf Right now, I’m angry.
(door latch clicks) (sword clangs)
(screaming) – [Santa] Ow. – [Nick] Preston, stop.
You’re not an angry elf. That’s from the movie. – (chuckling) Oh, I’m sorry. – [Nick] It’s really dark. Is this what being Santa Claus is like? – No, no that’s what being an elf is like. – We gotta get out of here. – Come on, come on, Santa, it’s going to be really hard to
hide you. You’re so fat. – [Santa] I know. I’ve
been trying to lose weight. I’ve been trying but nothing works – You really gotta get on
those diet cookies, man. Have you seen those? – [Santa] I did, I’m allergic to the stuff they use though to make it sugar free. – All of them? – [Santa] Yeah, it’s
an ugly scene, Preston. I don’t really want to get into it. – (laughing) I think you need to get on a diet soon, though.
I can stuff you in here. (grunting) Get in here – come on, come on, come on. – I’ll try it. I don’t know if (grunting) (door latch clicks) Where, that?
– You can. No no no, yeah. – I can’t fit in that – You can fit, you can fit, just try it. – (grunting) Oh!
– Just squeeze. Get (shouts) (door latch clicks) – I’m stuck I’m stuck. (door latch clicks repeatedly) – No, no, alright, it’s okay. – You can’t fit in here with me. – Yeah, I know I can’t.
You’re just very large. – [Santa] I know, I
know. I see it every day when I look in the mirror, Preston. – [Nick] Wow, Preston.
Are you giving Santa Claus this really emotional breakdown right now? – I’m not trying to.
-[Santa] I can’t even – I don’t even want to
think about it, Preston. – It’s okay, Santa.
It’s okay, you’re just – – It’s not, I’m so fat (sobs) (sharp, alarming chord) – [Nick] Oh, uh, what
are we going to do here? Preston, how are we going make this -? (screaming) -[Nick] I’m just an elf, an elf
on the shelf, it’s alright. – [Nick] Oh, okay, okay he’s gone. – Santa, stay where you are.
Don’t move, Santa. Don’t move. – [Santa] Alright (grunts) – Santa, get back – no, Santa. – [Nick] Santa, you should probably move. – Santa you have, you have to
run, Santa. You have to run. – [Santa] I have to run?
We were just talking about how fat I am – I can’t… – Yeah, you’ve exposed yourself – [Nick] (sing-songy voice) Preston. Hi. See me waving, way over here? Hi. – [Santa] (grunting) Run,
run Preston. (grunting) Run. – Santa. (laughing) Oh my (sighs). – [Nick] You’re not very fast. I’m just going to go after
Santa first, Preston. – [Santa] I can’t help you, Preston. – Santa please, don’t become an elf. – [Santa] No, I can’t.
– No! – [Nick] Come here, Santa Claus. – No! – [Santa] No, no, no god.
I don’t want to be an elf. I don’t want to be an elf. – [Nick] Uh-oh. Oh? He’s not an elf. I guess Santa is immune to magic. – I mean, he kind of is magic himself – [Santa] Oh, Preston, I’m sorry to do this to you, buddy. But, you know those comments about me were not, they weren’t okay – or,
kosher, I should say. – (banging on table) I was
just about to say that. – [Santa] – Uh, ha-ho, beat you to it. – Gosh dangit. – [Nick] Hey, Preston, you know what’s a really cool part of Hide n Seek? – What? – The part where you shift so I can’t see your nametag. – Dang-it.
(bangs on table) – Uh, see, ya it’s really
tough when you don’t do that. – I thought the Hide Name fixed that. I didn’t know you had to shift as well. – [Nick] Well, see you
know, it’s all gone now, it’s all gone. I could see your nametag. – I was always wondering
how you guys found me. Now I know your secrets. – [Nick] The secret is, it’s really easy. (sad trombone) -[Santa] Oh boy. -[Nick] Ooh, ooh you look like a
very, very angry little elf. – Don’t, don’t patronize me, Nick. -[Santa] Nick, Nick, I don’t know
if you’re aware of this. We gotta run, buddy. -[Nick] Oh, okay right.
-Get out of here. – [Nick] Uh, Santa, you know,
just for contingency’s sake um, you’re gonna be on your
own for this one, there. – [Santa] I’m gonna what, now? – Don’t take this easy on me. I want this to be a full-length, five minute Hide n Seek. – [Nick] Oh don’t you
worry, Preston, it will be. – Hide like you’ve never hid before. – [Santa] I’m gonna try, but uh, oh boy. – I already heard. I heard Santa (sleigh bells) Oh, Santa.
-[Nick] Oh, you didn’t hear me. -[Santa] (grunting) Oh, it’s so hard to
climb on these blocks of ice. – Oh my gosh. Alright
Nick, it’s pretty much just you and I right now. Santa is gone. He’s doing his own thing right now. – [Nick] I’m not really too sure what you’re talking about, Preston. I’m not coming out,
it’s just not happening. (door latch clicks twice) – Now, Nick, I know that
you helped the elves create this map. I’m
not a stranger to that. – [Santa] Be careful, Preston, he’s going to be angry, the elves are really upset. – Well you know what?
(door latch clicks) They need to increase their
quality a little bit more. I gotta say, they’re kind of slacking. – [Santa] I know, I know, but you know. They bidded for the union and they lost, so they’re pretty upset, Preston. – That’s unforuante,
but I can’t really help with that, Santa
– [Santa] Oh, boy. – I’m not really involved
in North Pole politics. You know that. – [Santa] Uh, well, I try not to be. But I don’t have much
of a choice. Trust me. – I mean, you’re Santa,
you kinda have to be. – [Santa] Why do you think
I have this gray beard? Ho! Ho! (laughing) – Aging really fast, Santa.
(door latch clicks) How old are you, actually?
– [Santa] Yup, yup. Too old. – Too old?
– [Santa] – to answer that. – [Nick] Preston, it’s not polite to ask a woman her age. – [Santa] Whoa.
– Okay, well, Santa is not a woman. No,
that is not Mrs. Claus. – [Santa] No, no I’m
not. That’s a low blow. – [Nick] I’m sorry,
Santa. I just wanted you to get really upset and come outside and get caught, and then
I wouldn’t have to – you know, then I would win. – [Santa] That’s all? – [Nick] That’s all. That’s all I wanted. – Where’s Mrs. Claus? – [Santa] Mrs. Claus takes care
of filing in another state. – Oh, wow. Another state? – [Santa] Yeah, trust me.
I’m doing all the work here. I can’t be dealing with all that. – You’re really making Mrs. Claus work. – [Nick] Aw, so Mrs. Claus
– does she live in Florida? – [Santa] I do have a
summer home in Florida. But yeah. She lives in Boise. Idaho. – [Nick] I dunno. I’m not exactly – – [Santa] She loves
potatoes, and she did not find that funny, when I sent her there. – [Nick] Uh, Preston, you know that there is only like three minutes left. – That’s a very relative
term, my friend. Okay? – [Nick] Well, yeah. That’s why I said it. – So, only is it very relative if – (inhales sharply) Is this a God spot? – [Nick] Did you find a God spot? – [Santa] Uh-oh, uh-oh. – I found it. Well, I
mean it doesn’t matter because I’m the Seeker,
but I think I found – (footsteps) Okay, Santa look, I can’t
deal with you anymore. Look, come here.
– [Santa] No, no no. – Now, Santa, you can’t run
– [Santa] Listen. I have been working night and day. Give me something here, buddy. – Look if anything, this
will put you at rest. There you go Santa. – [Santa] Let’s just talk. No!
(Punching) Alright.
– See? – [Santa] Well, let’s find your friend. Because I’ve got to get
back to making toys. – [Nick] There’s no need
for this, there’s no need. Preston –
– [Santa] I have a whole team of lawyer elves just because I’m using – (rain falling) Uh-ho, whoa! – Wow! Rain storm.
– [Santa] Oh boy. Yeah, this is part of
climate change, I think. Guys, it should be snowing right now. Ugh. – Are we even in the North Pole? – [Santa] Yeah. – This looks like the South Pole to me. – [Santa] No, no no. It’s – Whoa, give it a minute,
weather changes like that, uh? – Mm-hm, just like that. – [Nick] This is the North Pole. This is where, you know, magic happens. – This is more like Texas weather. – [Santa] Rain isn’t magic.
And right now I’m going to find a memory of
finding you, Nick. Ho, boy. – I don’t know, Nick is kind of kicking our butt right now, Santa. We’re not doing a very
good job to find him. – [Santa] – I know. I know he is. – [Nick] And Preston, do you remember how I said there was
only three minutes left? Well now, there’s only a
minute and thirty seconds left. So, that’s half.
– Where did he go? – [Santa] Oh, look who
knows how time works. Well, guess what Nick?
– [Nick] Me! – [Santa] Yup, I’m gonna find you. – Congratulations, Nick. Congratulations. – [Nick] Thank you. Not
enough people appreciate me. – I’m gonna ask for a hint. – [Nick] Okay. A hint?
– [Santa] A little one. – Are you outside of the map? – [Nick] No, I am not
outside of the map, Preston. – [Santa] That would be cheating. – [Nick] I will tell you a
little tiny little hint, okay? The tiniest of hints, okay?
(door latch clicks) I am, if I had to tell you where. – [Santa] These reindeer
aren’t looking good. – They’re underfed. They’re underfed. – [Santa] Oh, yeah, I know. – [Nick] I’m not near the reindeer. I am in the workshop.
(keyboard clicking) – [Santa] Uh-oh. – No way.
– [Nick] you don’t know where. – [Santa] Listen you
can’t touch those tools. You’re not paying dues, so.. – [Nick] I know exactly
what I’m doing here. I’m building presents –
– [Santa] No you do not. – [Nick] Look, it’s very
easy to build an iPhone. I don’t know why everyone
complains, it’s super simple. – (inhales sharply) – [Nick] Preston don’t go down
there. Don’t go down there. – [Santa] Oh. Oh. I see how this is. – [Nick] (giggles) I’m nowhere to be seen. (bell dings) – How does he know? How does he know? – [Santa] Where is he? Come on. – Santa. Santa, will you go
check this corner over here? This, look, right here:
this way. This way. – [Nick] Hm-mm, Hm-mm
– I think I see something. – [Nick] Naw
– [Santa] Oh! Ha ha. – [Nick] Oh, no Preston, no.
– Naughty. Yes. (bell dings)
(sighing) – Nick, your tip was too strong, man. -[Nick] Alright, well, look. I mean, since you guys are already here, what kind of toy do you
want me to make you? – (inhales sharply) Ooh,
oh you know what I want. -[Santa] Yeah, I don’t know, it’s been so long, that I don’t even know.
-[Nick] Okay, Preston. Hang on. Let me make
this. Just grab a hammer from back here. Back room. -[Santa] Listen you make sure you put those tools in the right place though, buddy. – Oh my god, what is he
doing? What was that? – It’s a toy cactus. (cheers) – Oh, that’s fun. Oh,
I took him, apparently. -[Nick] Now Santa, you can’t steal toys, that’s kind of the
opposite of what you do. -[Santa] No, no you’re right. You know what? Here. You like cactus? Here you go. -[Nick] Oh my gosh. -[Santa] Everybody have some cactus. -[Nick] Why did I make so much cactus? -[Santa] Yeah, I don’t know, but you just used a lot of stuff to make it, buddy. – That’s gonna cost a lot of
money, Nick. You know that. -[Santa] Yup. Yup. You want to help out with my inventory there, pal? -[Nick] Oh, look. It’s alright, it’s alright. Look, this will double off
as a snack for the ride home. – You can’t eat it! -[Nick] Speaking of which, can
we drive your sleigh home? – You eat cacti? I don’t even – No. -[Santa] No, no no no no, no.
-[Nick] You can’t eat cactus. That’s because you don’t have
the right attitude, Preston – What? -[Santa] I just gave that sleigh a tune-up. -[Nick] No we’re just going
to borrow it, real quick. It’ll be real simple. – Real fast, Santa.
-[Santa] No. You can’t, Nick. -[Nick] Super fast. Like, you
won’t even understand. – It’s okay, it’s okay, Santa. -[Santa] Preston, no no no. (upbeat music) – Thanks, Santa, you’ve been great. -[Nick] Uh, Preston, you did a real
terrible wall. Let’s just go. – How did he get -? Oh. -[Nick] Let’s just go, come on, Preston. -[Santa] That block. That’s the block. – (laughing) We’re just
going to ignore that fact. That never happened. -[Santa] No come back
– [Nick] Dasher, Dancer, uh – [Santa] No, that’s not either of them. – [Nick] I can’t remember
the rest of the names. – No no no no. Santa, look.
Santa Santa Santa Santa. Look, look, look.
(squishing sound) No. Just no. (laughing) – [Nick] You killed Santa? – Well, I mean temporarily.
He’s invulnerable. He doesn’t really die.
– [Santa] I can’t feel. I can’t feel anything.
Ho, ho, come on, Preston. – Santa? – [Santa] Hello? (upbeat music) – I’m sorry Santa.
Well, if any of you guys and gals don’t get Christmas
presents this year – – [Santa] Blame Preston. – I didn’t mean to kill
you, Santa. Permanently. – [Santa] Ho ho ho. Seriously,
bring me back, Preston.

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