[Alexis] Today, we’re making guacamole! [Wade] Holy Guacamole! [music]
STUMP KITCHEN, STUMP KITCHEN GLUTEN-FREE, VEGAN EATS
AND STUMPTASTIC TREATS! [Alexis] Wade Brown, my friends.
[Wade] Hi everyone! [Alexis] We’ve known each other for about
thirteen years and now we’re going to be cooking
co-hosts. Step one: cut off your friends hand. No! It’s a family show! Put your shirt back
on. So we have some cilantro. We have some avocado. We have a guac- a uh – what is this? It’s a hot pepper! A ja-lap-eno.
[Wade laughs] [Wade] Not a delicious snack, everyone. That’s your first kitchen tip from Wade Brown.
[Alexis laughs] [Alexis] And a lime, tomato, purple onion,
and then a bunch of spices and stuff. Grab your avocado. Stick it on the table. And I like to cut it lengthwise. And then I just cut all the way around. Excellent just like that!
[Wade] Thank you, thank you. [Alexis] And then I twist it apart. I take a chunk of the avocado and I just squeeze
it into the bowl. Just like that. [Wade] Ooh! That was slick! [Alexis] Like, avocado oil is so good for
your skin. And if you have a little bit left in there,
like sometimes you have a bit left in the shell, just use your stump and scrape it out.
Just like that, just scrape it out. [Wade] But Lex, what if I don’t have a stump? [Alexis] Well then your life is sad, my friend
– [Wade] Oh dear. [Alexis] -a sad, sad life without a stump! Here’s the garbage bowl. Stick your little
shells in there, we don’t need them anymore. [Wade] Thank you!
[Alexis] Brilliant. [Alexis] Now we’re dirty! [Wade] I’m undoing this button now… [Alexis singing] Wade’s taking off his shirt!
[Wade laughing] No! [Alexis] Ooh it’s hot in here! Okay! The next thing we’re going to cut is a tomato. [Wade] Now what’s the best method for cutting
a tomato? [Alexis] Chop the crap out of it. This is guacamole. You don’t need to do anything
pretty. I’m going to chop up this monster onion. I like to cut off the weird bits at the end. And really push down with your stump so it
doesn’t roll away on you cause that’s no fun for anyone! Smell this. Smell that. [Wade] Roses!
[Alexis laughs] [Alexis] That tomato is looking great, can
you chop it even finer? [Wade] WHAT?? [Alexis] Yeah just smash it in.
[Wade] Now you’ve gone too far! [Alexis] I know! There’s some skin on there that I didn’t like.
Blech! [Wade] Was it yours? [Alexis] Onions are really hard to cut. Really just stick your stump all over it and
push down to don’t let it slip away. [Wade] Have you ever considered investing
in a food processor? [Alexis] Do you know how hard those things
are to clean? [Alexis singing] Chopping really loud like
chefs, chefs, chefs! [Alexis] This is actually how I lost my hand.
[Wade laughs] [Alexis laughing] Just kidding! [loud chopping] [Alexis] Perfect. So you want enough tomato to just like brighten
up that bowl. [sing song] Let’s stick the onion in. This is way too much onion. Sometimes when you chop a thing it turns into more than you think. This will be my bedtime snack. Great, feeling dirty?
[Wade] Uh… [Alexis] So those are our base ingredients,
now we get to add the flair. Flair number one: cilantro! As you’re cutting your cilantro, you roll
it in a ball and it cuts it into tinier, better pieces. Here’s our cilantro, it’s all nice and chopped. It’s about, um, a nice palmful. Smells like a summer’s day in here. You want a spicy guacamole? [Wade] I want a spicy guacamole! [Alexis] Well you’re in luck my friend, we
got spice! [chopping]
Don’t touch your face when you chop hot things! [Wade] Yeah, no. [Alexis] Don’t touch your face or-
[Wade] -anything at all! Or a loved one, or a pet. [Alexis] Just don’t touch anything. Stumps are really, really good for juicing
limes, lemons, citrus, cows — [Alexis laughs] I’m a vegan, I don’t juice
cows! All the way from your wrist to your elbow. Just do it like this. Slice the lime in half. Yeah. Stick your stump in there and juice it! [both laugh] Here feel what I’m doing. Perfect. Just right in there! Just juice it
up! [Wade laughs] Wow! You don’t even need to
buy one of those juicers! [Alexis] I don’t need to buy a juicer. So get in here with me.
[Wade] Ah! [squishy sounds]
[Alexis] Just squish it up! [Wade] It feels like hand cream with a bunch
of chunks in it. [laughs] [Alexis] And what do you have when you’re
done? SWAMP MONSTER! Oh! We forgot the jalapenos! Here I’ll stick it in. Just like this. Boom! So here’s a time when you might be tempted
to lick yourself. [both laugh] I would recommend it. These are the base ingredients, but what’s
really going to make your guacamole come to life are your spices. A little paprika, a little cayenne pepper, a little regular pepper, a little bit of garlic salt, and a little bit of regular salt. Grab one and shake it in! Beautiful, you did it. [Wade] Like that?
[Alexis] Yep! And guess what happens now? [Wade] We’re going back in, aren’t we?
[Alexis] We’re going back in! [Wade] Ahhh!
[Alexis] LA, LA, LA! Now what do we have? CLASSY SWAMP MONSTER! With salt and spices!
[Wade laughs] [Alexis] This is how it looks. Kind of like a green and red Christmas jam. [Wade] Mmm… I am delicious! [Alexis] Oh yeah! [Alexis] We made it!
[Wade] Bye! [Alexis] I think- I think we’re- I just choked on some cilantro! [Wade] TA-DA!
[Alexis] TA-DA! Get in there, grab a chip! [Wade] Well, just, oh – oh-
[chip snaps] [Alexis] Don’t you hate it when the chip breaks
in the bowl? [Wade] Yeah, yeah. [Alexis] In your mouth, in your mouth! [Alexis] YEAH!!
[Wade] Oh yeah! It’s the best thing I’ve ever made. [Alexis] Dinner is served!
[Wade laughs] [music]
STUMP KITCHEN, STUMP KITCHEN GLUTEN-FREE, VEGAN EATS
AND STUMPTASTIC TREATS! [both laughing] [Alexis] Oops! I just put the shell not in the garbage bowl. Okay there! [Wade laughs] You are too much! [Alexis laughs] I am! [Alexis] It’s hot as heck in here so it’s
good to have your water. Where’s your water? Look at this magic water that just appeared!
[Wade laughs] Holy crap! [Wade] You are a tall glass of water! [both laugh]