How to make vegan gluten free Risotto! Stump Kitchen 19


Well good morning! Risotto’s a fancy thing. I’m sweating. [music]
STUMP KITCHEN, STUMP KITCHEN GLUTEN-FREE, VEGAN EATS
AND STUMPTASTIC TREATS Welcome to Stump Kitchen. We’re gonna make risotto for breakfast. We’re gonna make risotto! Mostly because I got too tired last night
to make it for dinner so today is the day. Do you wanna know another fun thing? BAM! Let’s see how dirty we can get this brand
new white apron, shall we? Risotto time! Get a giant pan. Stick some olive oil in it. Say like maybe medium heat. Chop a gigantic onion. Hold it down with your stump. Wahaa! Oh I forgot my garbage bowl. Oh f#%k, I love sharp knives so much. [sing-song] Hold it down with your stump. Throw your onions on the fire – the pan. Get a nice stirring tool. Great! Let those sizzle. Now we need a shallot. They’re just so sweet and tiny and good. [sing-song] Breakfast risotto. Just cut a shallot like a regular onion. Blah! Chop, chop, chop, chop. Put it in a pile and hold down the tip of
the knife and move the base up and down and chop it in kind of a half circle. Just like the pros! In the oven — I mean– [record scratches] What the f#%k is that called? In the pan! Ah it’s going everywhere! So you just cook that until it’s translucent,
then you grab some garlic. Argh! The recipe calls for one clove of garlic so
I’m gonna use two. I love garlic hands so much! So for garlic I just cut off the tips of each
little nub and then kind of smash it with my knife. Oh yeah see you just peel out the good juicy
yums inside. This is gonna last on your body all day! [sing-song] Chop up the garlic! Use that same technique you used with the
shallots. Yum! They’re getting all caramelized and delicious. Okay! Let’s make some veggie broth. Found it! I make it from powder but you can buy it from
liquid or make your own. We need five cups of veggie broth. Cool! How do I measure that? Hmm. Where the f#%k are the teaspoons? Ah here they are! Five teaspoons of your powdery powds. One, four, two, five, three. While we’re waiting for the water to boil,
I’m going to cut up our mushrooms. This risotto’s going to be cheese and mushroom risotto. Like a f#%king morning omelet. Give them some really rough chops, just have
fun with it! [sing-song] Chop it up however you wa-a-a-a-a-a-nt! And you know what? Let’s just throw these f#%kin’
in with the onions! I don’t think the recipe says that’s what
we do, but I’m gonna do it. Maybe a little bit of salt and pepper? That sounds accurate. Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah. I think this makes me more chef like. The water’s done boiling! So we need five cups in there. One, two… Ouch! F#%k that hurt! That hurt my stump! We’ll edit that part out. Three? Four, five. Now mix it up. Now it’s time to add your rice. One cup of arborio rice. Let’s cross our fingers
that we have enough. Ohhh it’s exactly a cup! So you just put this raw rice right in there. Mmhmm! And you stir it up. Let that kind of heat
up for a couple minutes. And while you’re waiting, we’ll f#%kin’ do
our lemon! Roll it and juice it and um, zest it! We’re
gonna zest it! [sing-song] Now you slice your lemon in half
la, la, la, la, la and stick your stump in and juice it, juice it, juice it. What’s next? Okay we need half a cup of white wine and
I need to find some white wine in this house. Oh thank god! We found some pinot gris — gree — grise. One of the best things that the wine industry
did was make f#%kin’ twist-off caps. [strained] Good morning! Half a cup of red– white wine. And then you just throw it right in! Whoo! Sizzle yeah! And then you just kinda mix it until it’s
all incorporated and like soaked in. Also add the lemon zest and the lemon juice. Hold it like this so you don’t get the seeds
in. Let’s hide this wine from me! Now we just stir in that stock like half a
cup at a time until it’s all absorbed and put the cheese in and we’re all f#%king — it’s
gonna be so good! Oh right! This is the part that takes so long. So now is when you can like turn on some Netflix… …chat about the weather with yourself… …dream about your future…. …read a book… …write a book… …think about all of your shortcomings and
then f#%k them! Okay it’s almost ready! Grab your nutritional yeast with your stump. Shake about like a quarter of a cup in. That’s probably tons. And then stir it in! Mmmmm! Let’s eat it up! Breakfast risotto — [laughs] It’s getting
everywhere. You ready for this? I f#%kin’ made risotto for breakfast! Mmm… it’s creamy, it’s salty, it’s cheesy.
The mushrooms are gorgeous, you can taste a bit of that wine. Holy s#%t. Risotto! F#%k yeah. We got a f#%kin’ home run! I’m really f#%kin’ proud of myself. Thank you for joining us on Stump Kitchen.
That was f#%kin’ amazing! Good luck making your own risotto. Show me
pictures if you want to. I’ll see you on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
and YouTube. But you know that ’cause you’re probably watching this on YouTube right now. I’ll see you next time. I can’t wait to cook
with you again. [music]
STUMP KITCHEN, STUMP KITCHEN GLUTEN-FREE, VEGAN EATS
AND STUMPTASTIC TREATS! What’s in my pouch? A plum. A shallot. A banana. A tomato. A bottle of wine! A stump! Stump Kitchen button! A hockey stick? Pickle! [crunch]
Ooh!

4 thoughts on “How to make vegan gluten free Risotto! Stump Kitchen 19

  1. looks and sounds great..I'm trying this tomorrow. Check your sound recording equipment, I heard a bunch of blank spots like some words were bleeped out.. Keep the great work coming..

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