Kial Mi Malamas Kriketon!


Hello to everyone This is Evildea, your God and tonight I want to speak to you about how I abhor playing cricket. I truly loathe playing it. The reason for my abhorrence is the result of an accident when I was an adolescent. So, of course, this videoblog is about a time in my adolescence. So, at that time I was twelve years old and I lived in a very small town which was called “The Gem Fields” so I suppose that is a place for gems, I suppose! And in fact it it isn’t really a city or a town, it’s simply lots of houses in the woods that are close enough to be called a town, I suppose. But that’s really not important for this story. So at that time, of course, we were celebrating my birthday and me and my family and some other familiies met up to celebrate the date and I remember that I was there with some of my friends and also, of course, the grown-ups from all the families came and they mostly just drank a lot. And I remember that in the back yard of my friend’s house – because actually we weren’t at our house we were at my friend’s house – in his back yard, the adults decided they wanted to play cricket. And all of them were drunk. Totally drunk. And I remember that I stood in the back yard, and watched the event, I suppose, and after I said, “Oh, I’m twelve now, I want to play cricket with the adults! Because I’m a big boy!” And I remember that maybe my father, I don’t know, but one of the adults, who was totally drunk, said “Yes, indeed, you can play with us!” And he gave me a bat, and in fact when we played it we didn’t have face protectors, and I remember that I held the bat in one hand, and my face was totally uncovered, and I really didn’t know how to play cricket, but I stood there and the adult ran very far away and I thought “Oh, no, he’s very far.” He had the ball in his hand, and of course he raised his hand to throw it and I remember that I stood there and I thought, “Oh, he’s too far, I must get closer to him!” So I started to run quickly to him and he threw the ball at the same time and then the ball flew through the air and struck me in the face and completely broke my nose and I remember that blood flowed out everywhere and I started running away, I just threw the bat and ran and I said [pitiable childlike wail] And I remember that I ran around the field where we were playing and of course the other adults, they were drunk, but they knew that that was not a good situation! And in fact I remember how I just ran into the house, I don’t know why, but at the house were two glass doors, and because I couldn’t see well because I had blood in my eyes, I simply ran through the doors, and of course broke them, and broke my nose even more, and even more blood spewed everywhere, and I remember that then my mum took me, and she ushered me to the sofa, and another adult went to the refrigerator and took ice, and put it on my face, and then my nose wasn’t like this, because actually after, many years after I fixed it, but after that event my nose stood there, or like this, my nose stood like this. And I remember that I looked at my dad through bloody tears, and he said to me “Oh, son, you’re like your dad now! We’re both the same!” Because in fact when he was a child, he broke his nose. And now we both had broken noses. And that, of course, is why I don’t want to play cricket any more. And in fact for many years I didn’t play it at all, I avoided the game. But when I was… I had… In fact, when I was fifteen or sixteen, I remember that I was in high school and the teacher said to me that I must play cricket with the rest of the class, or something bad would happen. And I remember that I really didn’t want to play it, but I had to, because the teacher said I had to. So I went on the field, and I just stood away from the batsmen and the fielders, and I thought “Oh, I’m safe here.” But then I remember that the ball [whistles] started flying at me, and I thought “What should I do?!” And I jumped from the ground to catch the ball automatically and at the same time another boy jumped towards me, and he hit me, and I fell to the ground, and stood up, and I thought “Oh good, my nose is fine.” But then I looked at my hand. Of course, your fingers must look like that, don’t they? Now, this finger didn’t look like that. The little finger. It actually was… excuse me… like that. And I looked at it, and I thought “Oh… oh shit… I broke my finger!” And I ran to the teacher and I showed my hand, and I said “Oh, my finger!”, and she saw it and then said “Oh, go to the clinic!” Because in Australia, all schools have not really a clinic, but they have just a place where you want wait for help. And I remember that I stood there and I looked at my hand. It actually didn’t hurt me at all, my finger was just like that. And I remember that the doctor came and looked at my hand, and took it, and said “Mmm. It seems that you didn’t break the bone, so that’s good…” And then just moved the finger into the right position and then I looked at it, and thought [pitiable childlike wail] because then it really hurt. And I thought “No! I preferred it when it was broken, because it wasn’t hurting me, but now it really hurts!” But after, I absolutely didn’t want to play cricket any more. And If you ever meet me in the real world, and you recommend that I play cricket, I will probably flee. I will absolutely flee. I’ll run away Because I don’t want to play it. So, that’s everything. I just wanted to talk about that. So, if you like this film, like it, share it, subscribe to my channel if you haven’t yet subscribed, and I will see you in the next film. And if you’re not there, I will beat you with a cricket bat. [pitiable childlike wailing] And like always, I want to thank my donors at Patreon, they areLupeRobert NielsenShayne Powerjzknucklesandsarah scand if you want to donate to my channel so that can improve in the future just go to the link in the description below. Go there! Or I’ll find you! [pitiable childlike wailing] Subtitles by the Amara.org community

8 thoughts on “Kial Mi Malamas Kriketon!

  1. Kiam mi estis infano (eble 11 jaraĝa), mi kaj miaj amikoj ludis ludon nomitan "fajrpilko". Ni ŝutis alkoholon sur klozetpaper-rulon, ekbruligis ĝin kaj ĵetis ĝin al ni. Iam la "pilko" trafis min rekte en la vizaĝon, kaj mia vizaĝo ekbrulis. Kiam mi venis hejmen mi diris al miaj gepatroj ke mi falis en la bivakfajron. MI havas fajrvundojn en mia vizaĝo dum multaj monatoj poste.

  2. Vi ne povas diri malbonajn vortojn pri kriketo. Gxi Bonegas!
    (sarcasm)
    Mi estas el Barato/Hindio kaj Kriketo estas la plej sxatata sporto cxi tie

  3. Ĉi tio estas la kialo, ke mi ne ŝatas piedpilkado; ĉiufoje mi ludis, iu trafis mian vizaĝon per la pilko.

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