I’m sorry, Captain Disillusion is not available. Please hold for… Mr. Flare, suckers! In 2011 (the year everyone realized that fake, sports-based stunt viral ads were officially played out) one brave baseball gear brand called Easton *record scratch* made one anyway. Instead of featuring a famous athlete, they used “some guy”. And instead of hiring a big ad agency, they outsourced the video to a couple of freelancers. Hat enthusiast Ross Haris and “Yo Gabba Gabba” graphics guy Joel Fox. In spite of that, the ad was an instant viral hit, and everyone must have rushed out to buy bats, because Easton followed up with another fake stunt video right away, but this time, barely anyone cared, and Haris and Fox never worked again… Probably. I don’t know much about advertising, but I can introduce you to the wonderful visual effects philosophy of Lazyology, which helps viral ads like ultimate batting practice get made on time, and under budget. First, if you’re going to add fake camera wobble to your scene, why bother with procedural animation or tracked motion from a real handheld reference when you can have weirdly stilted angular movements with no rotation like this? I’ll pay a few bucks to license this totally random stock photo by Antonio Guiiiiiem so I can show you how it’s done in Adobe afterfectseses two hundred and seventeen. Let’s bring up the motion sketch window, start capture, and drag the picture around very slightly like a sickly sloth. If our mouse is cheap enough, we get tha same kind of perpendicular lines! And the shot may look like it was filmed on a tripod by a drunk robot, but we saved… 2 minutes. The Lazyology way. To make the pitchbacks shake from hits by balls that weren’t really there, Don’t film a variety of real hits, just sample one, and recycle it for every single impact. According to the TransLazytive property, no viewer is crazy enough go to the trouble of lining them all up and playing them in sync to show they’re completely identical. And if you’re faced with animating something as complex as tiny white balls, Don’t use some cool plugin to go full 3-D, stop at 2 and a half D by moving around flat images of balls in 3-D space. That way, the shadows can be narrow and barely visible so that some people doubt they’re even there. It’s all going to look sort of okay in the end when you add the ultimate Lazyological tool: Motion blur! And lots of it! But the principles of Lazyology help more than just effects makers. They also help the people who watch and share their work. Why bother looking for something new and exciting, when you can just freeboot a thing from 7 years ago? And why try to figure out how the effects in the 7-year-old thing work when you can just ask an internet superhero again and again? Well, guess what? You don’t need a superhero. You only need me, Mr. Flare, to tell you that the “Yo Gabba Gabba” guy who did the ad also posted videos about the making of it! Half the stuff I showed you is from them! This one’s been on YouTube for almost as long as the ad itself! It’s even CALLED THE SAME THING!!! All you had to do was type in those words, but… You didn’t. Because you ARE a Lazyology MASTER. And you’ve finally earned my respect. Now never contact me again! Flare out!