Mr. Flare Explains: Ultimate Batting Practice


I’m sorry, Captain Disillusion is not available. Please hold for… Mr. Flare, suckers! In 2011 (the year everyone realized that fake, sports-based stunt viral ads were officially played out) one brave baseball gear brand called Easton *record scratch* made one anyway. Instead of featuring a famous athlete, they used “some guy”. And instead of hiring a big ad agency, they outsourced the video to a couple of freelancers. Hat enthusiast Ross Haris and “Yo Gabba Gabba” graphics guy Joel Fox. In spite of that, the ad was an instant viral hit, and everyone must have rushed out to buy bats, because Easton followed up with another fake stunt video right away, but this time, barely anyone cared, and Haris and Fox never worked again… Probably. I don’t know much about advertising, but I can introduce you to the wonderful visual effects philosophy of Lazyology, which helps viral ads like ultimate batting practice get made on time, and under budget. First, if you’re going to add fake camera wobble to your scene, why bother with procedural animation or tracked motion from a real handheld reference when you can have weirdly stilted angular movements with no rotation like this? I’ll pay a few bucks to license this totally random stock photo by Antonio Guiiiiiem so I can show you how it’s done in Adobe afterfectseses two hundred and seventeen. Let’s bring up the motion sketch window, start capture, and drag the picture around very slightly like a sickly sloth. If our mouse is cheap enough, we get tha same kind of perpendicular lines! And the shot may look like it was filmed on a tripod by a drunk robot, but we saved… 2 minutes. The Lazyology way. To make the pitchbacks shake from hits by balls that weren’t really there, Don’t film a variety of real hits, just sample one, and recycle it for every single impact. According to the TransLazytive property, no viewer is crazy enough go to the trouble of lining them all up and playing them in sync to show they’re completely identical. And if you’re faced with animating something as complex as tiny white balls, Don’t use some cool plugin to go full 3-D, stop at 2 and a half D by moving around flat images of balls in 3-D space. That way, the shadows can be narrow and barely visible so that some people doubt they’re even there. It’s all going to look sort of okay in the end when you add the ultimate Lazyological tool: Motion blur! And lots of it! But the principles of Lazyology help more than just effects makers. They also help the people who watch and share their work. Why bother looking for something new and exciting, when you can just freeboot a thing from 7 years ago? And why try to figure out how the effects in the 7-year-old thing work when you can just ask an internet superhero again and again? Well, guess what? You don’t need a superhero. You only need me, Mr. Flare, to tell you that the “Yo Gabba Gabba” guy who did the ad also posted videos about the making of it! Half the stuff I showed you is from them! This one’s been on YouTube for almost as long as the ad itself! It’s even CALLED THE SAME THING!!! All you had to do was type in those words, but… You didn’t. Because you ARE a Lazyology MASTER. And you’ve finally earned my respect. Now never contact me again! Flare out!

100 thoughts on “Mr. Flare Explains: Ultimate Batting Practice

  1. huricane maria wasn't that catastrophic since the "eye" of the storm went above me and only a tree fell in my house and yesterday I finally got electricity. pero gracias por atudarnos con el "link" de la descripcion

  2. Lazyology is win A.F. It's my life philosophy. Why the fuck should I effort when I can ask someone else to and then outsource asking that person to another person who handles thinking my thoughts for me? Fuck effort. 😉

    To be fair the true path of Sloth and Laze is not found in lazyology. The true path to Sloth and Laze is to preemptively do things, take actions that prevent work from ever even being needed, do any job you have not yet found a way out of the correct way the first time so you don't have to do it AGAIN. You cannot claim laziness and then do things that double your workload… this is nonsense. Organize yourself. Think ahead. Do jobs correctly the first time. Always have a backup. Outsource, but never take your eyes off the chimps you outsourced to; they are stupid and will fuck it up if not watched and then you have to have it done again, defeating your efforts to do less work and get more sloth in. TLDR; just don't be lazy to start with and plan ahead so that you get where you're going efficiently rather than quickly and then you get to be lazy after with all that time and resources you saved by being efficient and correctly doing things.

  3. I'm experiencing a temporal anomaly, I keep watching the entire CD uploads list and the playlist always says I'm on video 21 of 92. How Can Thie Be?? Plz debunk!

  4. CD is maybe the most talented video maker on YouTube. But Mr Flare is not his best work. And also this video was the worst one I have seen while binge watching today. Never showed original and after all the explanation. I stjll
    Have no idea what the trick was.
    D

  5. Your videos are too short. Dont you know that the Youtube Algorithm likes your videos to be about 10 minutes long???

  6. I love that we all line up at the trough to have our turn of abuse from a talking desk lamp. It's the mark of a true master.

  7. have you heard of joe?
    who’s joe?
    joedepartment Ultimate Batting Practice – How it was made 21,834 views Published on Jun 12, 2013

  8. For some reason the "number one" thing of something always sells more. The first video of a saga in Youtube always gets more views and Groo the Wanderer comics have hundreds of number one comics… to sell more!

    Heck if the Captain made a video with clips of episodes calling it "Funniest moments of Captain Disillusion Volumen 1" it will get more views just because it is the "first one".

    Don't believe me? just look at the number of views on videos that are part of a saga! Heck the Captain himself mentioned it in the same episode were he totally did not kill his black son.

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