RT Life – Return of the Cricket


Wait what, what just happened? We had to fill out declaration cards for a lady in Japan. And we were passing this area which is completely closed down and dark and creepy. And I said “oh, well there’s probably some pens right here”. And so we went to go take one of these pens on a chain, And, its a thermometer not a pen. So, we have SARS now for sure. All right Chris, what are we doing? So, it’s about 11 o’clock on a Saturday, It’s hunting time. The cricket, has come back from the dead. And this is the same fucking cricket, It’s not a different one. I’m going to harpoon it Shit, oh he fucking moved! It learned. It’s like that moment in Jurassic Park, When the velociraptors are opening the doors, -This is exactly like that. -Exact same thing. -It’s textbook. -Oh I got him! It was a dryer sheet the whole time! No, I missed him. I thought he was caught in the dryer sheet cause there was a fuzz. You’re a fuzz. Oh well, he’s gone quiet at least. For now.

100 thoughts on “RT Life – Return of the Cricket

  1. Ok you are either a troll, or really wants to know what he said so here goes:
    " Lol the cricket out-smarted Chris in every way possible lol I want that cricket as my pet but the PETA would take it from me for animal abuse, because I would have killed it or something." yur welcome. >:D

  2. Burnie the horse puncher and his sidekick chris the cricket squisher in the horse puncher dada dadadada puncher!!!

  3. Did you know that spelling and grammar are not the same thing? Also, you spelled grammar wrong.

    Just a fun spelling fact.

  4. RAPTOR JESUS CHRIST, PEOPLE!!! THEY'RE NOT VELOCIRAPTORS!!! VELOCIRAPTORS WERE BARELY LARGER THAN CHICKENS!!! If Creighton wasn't dead, I'd kill him.

  5. The man was infinitely smarter than you, so take your hate elsewhere. In the books, the raptor was Velociraptor Mongoliensis, but their size was exaggerated in the movies. That doesn't mean that you have to threaten to desecrate a dead author because you're feeble mind cannot comprehend a work of fiction and the exaggerations made to make a book more interesting. He studied sciences before he wrote the novels, so he knew better than you about what he was writing, including about the raptor.

  6. Did you seriously tape a Nerf sword to a broom handle? That's some top notch weaponry right there boys.

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