Stump Kitchen Outtakes: Risotto!

[instrumental music] Risotto’s f%#king cool! To be fancy, I’m going to throw my hair up. This is how you put your hair up with one
hand. Like, I did not know that risotto was rice,
I always thought it was pasta? I learned how to do my hair in a pony tail
when I was 21. [laughs] It’s not! It’s fuckin’ rice! ‘Cause up until that point I did it in different
ways and I just never got around to trying it, and then one day I was like, fuck I wanna
do my hair in a ponytail and I just did it. I did it! So that is how you do your hair with one hand. Peeling ungulates. [laughs] Garlic and shallots – they’re called something,
they’re a type of vegetable. I think they’re called ungulates but I also
think that’s a type of name for things with like cloven hooves like deer and sheep. Peeling ungulates is hard! What if it starts to snow outside and it’s
the first snowfall of winter and you’re like “holy fuck the first snowfall of winter!”?
– you keep stirring your risotto! Risotto is so good! What if a pack of wild otters comes into your
house and starts cuddling all over your floor? Keep stirring your risotto and secretly wish
you were with them cuddling. Because the risotto rice, it’s just like,
it’s one of those rices that just takes awhile to take in liquid, it’s just a little more
slow at that. This takes so long! You have to really just let it stir, soak
up the liquid and the juices in it’s own time you know? It can’t be fuckin’ rushed! [laughs] Yeah the stirring part takes a long time,
but we don’t really ever give ourselves enough time to just really reflect on our lives and
the shit that we need to think about and what matters. [music]

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