The Kapil Sharma Show Season 2 – Ep 107 – Full Episode – 12th January, 2020

Attention everyone! One of the greatest kings the king Chappu is arriving. Oh! Oh! Ah! Chandu! Chandu! Chandu! Ms. Archana. – Yes, Mr. Chandu.
– You must be wondering why I’m sitting
on the royal chair. Why?
– But I’ve never wondered why you’re sitting
on a minister’s chair. Anyway, I have an important
announcement. – Okay. Ms. Archana, you know,
Kappu’s brother, Chappu? – Yes. He has gone crazy. – Okay.
– He thinks he’s the king. The doctor has told,
if he should be saved.. – Okay. To make him believe
he’s the king. – Oh! I’ve convinced Sapna.
– Okay. So, we need
all your support, too. – Okay. Please, Ms. Archana.
All right? Ready? – Ready. Oh!
– Very bad. You took out the petrol
from my scooter and drank it the other day. That’s fine.
You can take it and drink. But you’re anyway diesel.
Why did you drink petrol then? Very bad.
– Very bad. My Lord! The commander.
– Talk softly. You’ll get me killed. Your Majesty, I,
the commander Chandu welcome you to Kapil Sharma’s court! Your Majesty, I’m your
special person in this court. Really? – Yes.
– So, tell me the parts of my body
that I have moles. I just said special
and not jobless that I’d keep counting
the moles on your body. If the king was a bit sexier,
he’d search in Google the king’s hot pics.
Posing this way. I know people like him
very well. Your Majesty,
please have some shame. What are you saying?
People will gossip about you. If they start gossiping about me I will gossip about people
so badly that they will howl, H, A, W, W!
– Oh! You get that?
That’s called tit for tat. Who are they all?
They’re all staring at me. Your Majesty,
they’re your citizens. They have come
from faraway places with their complaints.
– Then, just give me. Are you going to give me
once it has lost its taste? Your Majesty, they’re here
with the complaints and not
with some delicious meal. They’re here with their
complaints, meaning problems. Problems? – Yes, the problems.
– Send them away. I don’t want to listen
to negative things at the start of the day.
Send them away. Your Majesty! Your Majesty! Your Majesty! Your Majesty, I’m ruined.. Shame on you
for saying that you’re ruined. The composition
it completely wrong. You just don’t know anything.
Who made you a complainant? You don’t know
such a simple song. Commander-in-chief,
give him a demonstration. This is what you should do whenever you come
to the royal court. Hail to the king! Hail to the king!
– You’re doing so good as a complainant.
You’re a complainant, hereafter. You’ll be
the commander-in-chief. Your Majesty pass the judgement
what should I do to this complainant? Put his face in a vessel or put the vessel
on his face. I’m sure it will be
something funny. Hear me out.
Come here. Just tell him what you want
and leave. Come on. Hey, get lost. That was so funny.
Can you do it again? Get lost I’ll cut you with my sword! You should come to me early
in the morning and do this for me. Nice one! Get lost! My Lord! There is a famine
in the kingdom. Is that all? Take a bottle of water
and drizzle it around. Sir, a bottle
will not be enough. I have 15 acres of land
that is ruined. How much is that? Sire, it is 15.
Ten plus five. That is it! I give you another
20 acres of land. Hail the Lord!
Hail the Lord! Hail the Lord.. Sire, tell me where is
that land located. Outside the palace.
You will see a river. You can take all the land
under the river. Take it. Sire, what will I do
with that land? It is submerged. What is wrong with you? First you say that
your lands are dried. Now I give you one
with water and you act out? Stop this act of yours! Sire, let us get him out
and send the next one in. Shut up.
You have ruined my day. Bringing in such peasants
early morning! Enough of this! I need some of that. Sire, what is this signal?
Out of syllabus! Fool!
You do not know! The women who dance. Is that so?
We’ll get some now. What about him? Get him aside
and give him some goodies. Let us go now! Bring the dancers! Hail the King. Hail, Sapna. How about my dance? I am pleased
by your dance. Take this.
– Thank you. Do not thank me.
Get this fixed. It always ends up
breaking. You have insulted me! What? Do you know? The channel has spent
millions on me. They do spend a lot
on this trash. you still count
as a better one. Come here. What is your name? What else do you do
apart from this vile dance? I have a parlour. I help girls break over. Can you sharpen
my eye brows? I have to go to war. You should be
sharpening your sword. It is heavy
and I cannot lift it. Sharpen my eye brows. Even my claws.
– Why is that? I’ll hug the enemies
and tear open their backs. I will be in front
but striking at their backs. Who is he? He is the Lord. More like a fool. I like that. I will take that moniker. You are a great king. Stop fooling around
and prepare for war. Listen to me. You all must look after me
once war begins. As the war starts I begin
to do this. This, right here! A dance off? I soil my pants! Gross! General.
– Yes, my lord. Get some money
from treasury and buy diapers
for all of my soldiers. We shall rise
at the break of dawn with diapers
covering our nethers. Make a song for this. Call Anu Malik. And ask him the number
of Vishal Dadlani. And Vishal can get me
the contact of Neha. Neha did not come
visit me. Call her! What treasure
do you speak of, Sire? Treasury is empty.
– Is it over? Then add some water
and sow money plants. We’ll get money. In that case let us plant
some grass in stables and horses will come soon? You are arguing with the king! My King, fire him! I’ll be your
new commander-in-chief! That’s not possible.
I’m the commander-in-chief! You fool,
I have better plans for you. Really! What is it?
– Murder! I will murder you. If not commander-in-chief,
make me the king. How is that possible? Until the king dies,
we cannot have a new king. Hrithik Roshan had said that a king’s son
cannot be the king. But his sister
can be the king, right? People are so silly! Listen, don’t fight, all right? I have found a way.
– What is it? It’s between Mumbai and Goa. Pune Highway! Sometimes, I am very funny. Your Highness,
you make no sense at all. No, that’s not true.
He is so funny. He is good at comedy. He is very nice. – You are
the new commander-in-chief. And you.. Get going..
Come on, get lost. I am your commander-in-chief,
Your Highness. – No problem. Be my female commander-in-chief. You will be wife
to my 1,00,000 soldiers. Listen, Commander-in-Chief! Make sure our soldiers wear
underwear with spandex. What? Drawstrings can be risky
during a war. Oh, God! Such episodes are shameful. Do you remember the last war
that we won? – Yes.. How did we win that? – How?
– We didn’t fight at all. The king of enemy army
died laughing. Our pyjamas came off. It was a huge problem. Go and inform our army
that we’re heading for a war. Okay, your wish is my command. Hey, don’t say that. First carry out
my previous orders. Do what you have been
asked to do. – Okay. Whatever you say, Your Highness! Who is here?
– ‘Who is here?’ You asked me
to change my statement. That’s what I am doing.
– Nobody is here. Somebody is here!
– Somebody is here! Okay, if somebody is here
then offer him a seat. Those who aren’t here
cannot have a seat. She is so silly! He keeps changing his statement. Hold this. I don’t know who’s here.
He’s making me go mad! Hey, come here. Go and call commander-in-chief. I am the commander-in-chief. Then have some confidence. Listen.
– Yes. Am I alone in life?
Don’t I have a.. Your Highness!
– Don’t I have a queen? Okay, queens..
– Ask them to come here. I will bring a queen for you. How do I arrange for a queen?
Queen.. Chandu, you didn’t come
to watch my play. I played such good role of queen
in that play. Oh, my God! I have seen many delicate queens but this is the first time I’m
seeing a queen who’s not pretty. Listen. Why are you not allowing
yourself to look pretty? Were you born like this or you were facing
some criminal charges? Were you born stupid or you were facing
some criminal charges? I like that.
I like her comeback. Tit for tat!
Let’s make some videos. Like this. Come here, listen to me. Chappu has gone mad. All of this is an act.
You should play the queen. Hey, what are you guys
talking about? My Queen, don’t listen to him. Pierce his navel with an arrow
and make me your husband. I am all yours. I don’t know
how to shoot an arrow. You don’t know
how to shoot an arrow! It’s so easy.
Take a dice and throw it. If you get a six,
your pawn moves forward. That’s not how you shoot
an arrow. That’s how you play Ludo.
– No, this is what do in Ludo. This is called judo.
Judo! No, this is judo.
It’s yours and that’s mine. This is how you gamble! Gambling happens in hair. No, that’s lice infestation. How many lice
are there in your hair? Excuse me!
There are none! Your Highness, even lice
don’t find her important and you want to make her
live in your palace! Chandu! Audacious woman! In front of your future husband you are taking
another man’s name! That’s it! I have had enough! For your kind information I am her future husband. What’s there to scream about? And listen, lady.. I have fallen in love with you. Put that thing around my neck.. Belt?
– Garland! How can she?
She cannot marry you. Do you have to go somewhere
after this? You are so loud! Commander-in-Chief Chandu! Announce about my nuptial night
in the entire kingdom. And all the kings.. Send the invitation
to the kings. That’s it, Your Majesty. You are making a mistake
by making her your queen. How can you say this?
We will have a baby by mistake. He will grow up
and go to school. What are you saying? I want to make
this announcement that I will protect her
from your captivity. I am going. Get ready for the way. Kappu Sharma! Hello.
Guard! Finish the soldier
who just left. Finish him. Can’t you understand
the sign? I am telling you
to finish him. Make me talk
with the other soldier. Yes. Listen.. Finish the soldier
I was talking with. Don’t you understand? Make me talk
to the previous one. Listen.. Both of you kill each other
and report me. Bye. My Lady..
Don’t fear him. Make arrangements
for the baby shower. Baby shower? Baby shower is done
before the baby is born. Our baby is not yet born. That’s why, I am telling you
to have it. Baby shower is done
for the pregnant woman. I don’t want
to talk with you. People bid farewell
for the girls. Henna ceremony is for them.
Bangle ceremony is for them. They allow us to mount
on the mare only once and the mare eats
all the grams and we don’t get anything. Stop this. Stop it. Stop! Why should I stop?
Is it 11 p.m. already? First of all,
we come 15 minutes late. Stop it.
I will hit you. Enough is enough.
Bhuri, don’t worry. I will take care of everything. ‘I will take care
of everything.’ I am scared of this line. What will you do? I’ll tell you. The king of Kapila Kingdom.. Is arriving! I want to see
how you walk. King Chappu,
the king of the losing kingdom.. Let her go. Or else, I will attack you with 300 elephants,
450 horses and 1 donkey. Your Majesty.. You called me a donkey. Darn! His confidence is so weak. He always wants
to take the credit. If you can take
the credit of 300 elephants then can I not
take the credit of one animal? Brother-in-law.. Save me. Bhuri, do not fear. He is alone. No one will help him. How can you say that? I will save you. It’s okay. You are fine.
You killed the ant. You have been lying
since our childhood. The ant is not dead.
I have hurt myself. Come on, stop crying.
Don’t cry. Do you want
a toffee? – No. Do you want a chocolate?
– No. Give me Rs. 1 crore. Attack.. Attack! You could have given
in written. You don’t have to say it.
Don’t say it. You have to attack.
You have to fight. I will behead you. I will behead you. Don’t fight me. I will behead you.
– I will bite your hand. I will.. Hey! Be a man1 Hey!
Be a man! Your Majesty,
I will behead you. Even I will not
spare you. I have a very bad temper. If I get angry.. Even I.. Even I will not
spare you. I don’t know
what I will do. Surprise! Surprise!
– Hey! Scary woman! You are lucky
that I don’t fight women. But a lady warrior is yet to come.
I will call her. Warrior Titli! How dare you to touch
my husband? I am scared of touching him.
And you have touched him! No..
No, Titli. What are you doing?
He is my man. He is your man!
I see. I knew that you have
an extramarital affair. But shall I tell you something?
I am feeling dizzy after knowing that you have
an affair with him. Oh!
This means, she is expecting. Make this announcement
and name and shame them. Are you not ashamed of yourself? You are about to give birth
to your 12th child. And you have come
to fight with me! Titli, we are in the same team.
Our enemy is in front of us. We need to fight with him. I see.
That’s the case. Why didn’t you tell me before? Come here. You parrot! How dare you to tell
my husband like this? Overcooked dolphin!
Leave me. I am your sister.
Why are you beating me up? This is wrong.
Why are birds interfering in our fight? I won’t play like this. I see.
But you are using a camel. What about that? Hey.. You have called me a camel! You have called me a camel! I have called you a camel.
I have called you a camel.. Hey.. I can’t tolerate this.
– Same here. Hey.. Brother-in-law, why are you
standing like a mute spectator? Even you see them.
Perhaps you learn something. Hello, Bahubali!
Attack him! Hey, if you have Bahubali
then I have Bhallaldev. Where is he?
– Who? – Where is he? Who are you then? Me? At least, tell me who I am
before naming me. Okay, I will attack. Soldiers, take out oil
from the scabbard. What! Are you an idiot?
What are you saying? I will massage our enemies. I can give a good massage.
– Which one? Aggressive massage. What do you do
in this massage? In this massage..
– Yes. First, we take off
customers’ clothes. I see.
– We apply on them. After that, we ask them
to sit on a sword. What next?
– It’s your destiny now. You are already sitting
on a sword. Even I have a sword! Your Highness, he has taken
out his sword. Save me. You impudent!
What do you think that I don’t have a sword?
Save yourself. Just a moment. Listen. I have brought
a premature sword by mistake. The war will take place
after 18 years when it will be eligible
to get a licence. No.. The war will be held
today itself. – Today itself Today, I will behead you
with my sword. There will be bloodshed today. Hold on.. Calm down.. Calm down. Calm down.
– Don’t touch this. Soldiers Take that out.
– Hey.. Hey..
Have you gone crazy? Bathroom? Bathroom?
– No.. Use your legs and run.
– Hey.. Catch them.. He shouldn’t be able to escape. I have caught him. Here he is. He is not there.
Come.. Thank you. Ms. Archana, our today’s guest
is from the cricket field. I see. Oh!
I have understood now. No, our guest is not
a retired cricketer. I see.
– He is a current player. Don’t get nervous. A guilty conscience
needs no accuser. Both the players
who are coming here today are amazing players.
– Okay. Both of them
are leg spin bowlers. And have played for India
in many international matches. Even the
best batsmen have a difficult time playing
their googly. With a round of applause. Please welcome
Mr. Piyush Chawla and Yuzvendra Chahal. Let’s have a
huge round of applause for Piyush and Yuzvendra. Piyush and Yuzvendra,
welcome on the show. Thank you.
– Thank you. How does it feel to be
on the show for the first time? It feels amazing
and I watch your show a lot. Seriously, you
watch my show? Of course,
we watch the show. We have lots of time.
– You have so much time? There is plenty of time. After 7 o clock
I’m completely free. Very good. Thank you so much
for coming on the show. Let’s have a round of applause
for the Indian cricket team. The team has been
performing very well. Recently,
Indian team has won T20, ODI and test series
in West Indies. Yuzvendra, you were
a part of the ODI team. Congratulations to you. Thank you..
– Amazing.. Yuzvendra, tell me
one thing. Do you have a nick name? At home
they call me Sunny. Sunny is fine. Yuzvendra come. I’ve taken
his name thrice but I can’t pronounce
it properly. This is a very difficult
name for Punjabi’s to pronounce. Yuzvendra.
Since, I’m an Indian I will be able to understand. Have you ever told
your name to a foreigner.. Yuzi. – When you tell
your name to them are they able to
pronounce it properly? No, they
often jumble my name. I have short name
called Yuzi in cricket. Yuzi, okay.
– Yes. People used
to mispronounce my name. Instead of all that, they
asked me to shorten my name. So..
– Yuzi is fine. Yuzi is fine.
– Yuzi is also a difficult name. Yu and zi.. Yuzi.. It’s fun
pronouncing his name, right? If your throat is itching
that also will become fine. Yuzi.. Yuz.. Actually,
Yuzi is perfect for him based on his personality. Yuzi..
– Yuzvendra is a long name. Yes.
– Or else a person will think that my name
is longer than my height. All right. Millions of people love
cricket all over the world. Rather,
you will find more than a millions of cricket
fans in India. And among then
you’ll find thousands of people who play cricket. Among so many
people only 15 members are selected for
the national cricket team. And you both are one
among those 15 members. I want to know,
how you felt when you became a part of the Indian
cricket team? I was 17 years old, when..
– Wow.. When I first played
for the Indian test team. I was in the 11th grade. So, on the first day.
I took my bike and entered
the school like a boss. With the feeling
that I’ve finally become a part of
the Indian cricket team. After that I went to the principal’s
office and told her.. not to create issues regarding
the attendance, please. Oh.. As you all know, Piyush
is the second youngest player to join the cricket team
after Sachin Tendulkar. Wow.
– Thank you. He is still young. Yes indeed. How you’re the second youngest
player after Sachin Tendulkar. The same way, Ms. Archana.. At least, listen
to what I have to say. Tell.. I’m mean to say.. Tell.. Ms. Archana, I mean.. After Mr. Siddhu,
she is the second oldest lady. She grew from a
young girl to a young lady and then from a young lady
to a proud woman. She doesn’t
wait for anyone to leave so that she can join the team. She destroys
the opponent. Yuzvendra, please
have a seat. Yuzi and Piyush..
– Yuzi.. Please, have a seat. Mr. Yuzy, what did you feel
when you were selected? Had you read your name
in the newspaper, too? Back then, there was a match
in Raipur. I see.
– The qualifier for IPL.. And we had qualified.
– Okay. It was a late night bus
and we reached by morning. So, my trainer said the Indian
team was being announced. Oh! – I said, so what?
He said, there were chances. I nodded in agreement
and when I got to my room.. Oh! – Someone had tweeted
the list from the verified BCCI account
and I was at the 16th spot. Oh! – I saw it several times
to make sure it wasn’t fake. After my name was announced,
I spoke to my parents. It was a little emotional moment
because I had got selected for the first time ever.
– So proud of you guys. Thank you. Well, both of you are spinners. Did you ever want to be
fast bowlers? Or is that you were too lazy
to run that far. You wanted easy wickets.
– We did try at first. When we began playing
in Muradabad we learnt that a fast bowler
bowls a spell of a few overs. Yes. – I could last
only till three to four balls. Then, I would give up.
– One gets tired, right? Really tired.
Fast bowling is hard. Fast bowling can be tricky.
One runs from so far and bowls all the way
and before he straightens up it could be a sixer, too.
Right? No, really! They are spinners. – Yes.
– So, you’re asking them this. Had they been fast bowlers
what would you ask them? Then I’d say that
the way they run and bowl fast they look like
they deserve wickets. Oh, my! – Spinners just
spin the ball and bag a wicket. We adapt as per the person. Right, sir? But both tasks
that they do are difficult. I mean, bowling slowly
and tricking the batsman. Fast bowling has its own..
– You can do neither. What?
– He can do neither. No, both of them..
Yes, same. He’s just good with words.
– He bowls people with talks. Yes, indeed! Archana was asking me
before you arrived that when you arrive
she wanted me to ask you if Bumra is really a good player
or just lucky? The question is good. The other team can
answer it better. Actually!
We’re proud of you, Bumra. We’ve all played cricket
in childhood with friends. We’d pool in money
to buy a ball. Even the ball would be cheap. But I heard that your dad built
a pitch for you on his farm. Oh! – It happened because
the actual playground was very far from my home.
– I see. I had a bicycle back then
and traveling to and fro on it twice a day would amount to
30 to 35 kilometres a day. Right! – But we had some space
so dad built a pitch there. It was pretty near from home.
– Okay. He made a proper cemented trough where I practiced for months
before moving to Delhi. Wow! – There, I could practice
anytime I wanted. Your own pitch.
– Exactly. Did it ever happen
that you were late for practice and crops had grown
in the pitch? The farm was behind the pitch. But think about it. For all that Yuzvendra
has achieved today his parents have worked so hard.
They must’ve thought then that their son was facing
problems while practicing. Hats off to your dad.
– Thank you. Without family’s support,
it’s difficult. I’ve heard another thing
about Yuzvendra. That he never buys his own bat.
– Really? He borrows it
from other players. Sometimes from Rohit Sharma
and sometimes, Virat. Do you never believe
that your turn would arrive? The bats are designed
as per our talent. – I see. Because some bats can break
if the bowler is great. – Oh! Then I wait for others’ bat
to pick the lightest one. Even the other person realises
that I’d borrow the bat. So, I steal lighter bats
from them. – You steal bats. What about pads and gloves?
– No, I have them. And undergarments and stuff?
– Come on! Their sizes won’t fit me. There’s a benefit
to becoming bowlers. Because if a bowler goes to bat they’re usually placed last.
So, even if they are out people don’t mind so much
because they can bowl well. But if batsmen perform badly
people criticize him for years. Once Mr. Sidhu was out at 0.
We.. You didn’t let him forget.
– We didn’t let India forget. You didn’t. – Even Mr. Sidhu
had left that behind. We would dig it up repeatedly
to remind him. Only you did that.
– Yes, he did. Piyush bowls with right hand
and bats with left.. – Yes. Piyush, when you wake
in the morning do you get confused as to
which hand to use? Oh, God! Exactly! Oh! Well, it happens at times.
– Even you’re left handed. You write with your left hand.
– Yes. And the rest? There’s a lot of technology. There are small guns
which we call jet spray. Ms. Archana, Yuzy is also
an income tax inspector. Really?
– Yes. Be it Virat Kohli and Dhoni..
– Yes. They must know that
you’re an income tax officer. Do they call you by your name,
or just ‘sir’? They’ve earned a lot.
– Of course. Dhoni calls me a ‘twig’.
– Because you’re lean? While wicket keeping
a couple times he has screamed ‘Twig, bowl this way..’ I asked him
why he called me that. He said he couldn’t understand
my name, that’s why. As you all know,
girls are fans of cricket. Bollywood is crazy over cricket. Yuzy, has any girl
every bowled you over? Well..
– He’s blushing. No one as of yet,
but I’m still waiting. No one so far? – No one.
– People like him are secretive. They never admit things.
– If you get my dad to the show how can I confess? Is your dad here?
– Yes. Where is he?
– Over there. Hello, sir!
Congratulations! You had a good crop. Welcome to the show, sir. How does it feel when people
recognise you in public? I do feel proud.
– Does it feel great? – Yes. Sir, I heard about
the way you supported him. So proud of you, sir.
– Thank you. Every parent does try for that.
– Indeed, sir. Were you fond of cricket, too?
– Yes, back in college. Oh! So, that’s how it started.
Sure. So, when did you take
his demands seriously? He still doesn’t. When he was around 10,
in the Inter-district they hosted a Pataudi trophy.
– Okay. It’s an open contest.
There’s no age group. – Okay. When there was a match
in our district.. – Okay. Players were going in a car
and they had a flat tyre and there was no one to fix it.
– I see. So, due to shortage of players
they let him play. He scored four wickets
in five overs. And then we knew that
he has potential. Piyush, you have
cored a lot of wickets. So scored you? Did you have
an arrange marriage? Love?
– Love marriage. She was my neighbour. We never met
in Muradabad. We met in Delhi. Yes? My in-laws
are doctors. So they kept
being transferred, So mostly my wife
used to stay in Delhi. And we started
meeting there. I told dad that it takes
long for me to travel so I should take a house
in Delhi. I will come when I have
more time. And I will stay in Delhi
and you may come see me. Dad was not aware
of your adventures. Dad knows all.
He never says it. He knows it all. They simply keep it. Dads are smart. Hello! Kid! Aunt is here!
I am here! My dear! My dear! My dear! I am here. I am here. I love you. How are you? I am fine, dear. Be seated. Why do you sit
in the middle? Sit aside. Fine. How are you? CC are here! What is that? Chahal and Chawla. Is everything fine
back at home? Yes. How do you know him? I’ve known him since
he played a match with Feroze Shah. That is the name
of the stadium. You can handle that much. Why did you not give Malinga
his hair back? This is how he insults me! Look at this kid.
New born baby. I have something
for you both. What is it? I have fritters. Do not give it to them. They are fitness freaks. This is not a heavy snack. Piyush. Yes. – I’ve chosen
a nice girl for you. Aunt, he is already married. In that case he should have
brought his wife here. She would have massaged
my feet. I will tell her. She would serve me
like my husband does. Uncle always cares for you.
Have you ever tried doing that? I did, yesterday. I told him to get
the clothes down from the line. He did not listen. And boy, I served him well. Now I just have to give him
one glance and he gets everything done
right in a jiffy. Open this now. You want to get these
ironed now? We do not ned that.
I just sit on top of clothes and it is done. Here boy. Fold the shorts. And you must fold
the pajamas. Do it. What are you making them do? Whose car cover
is this? Have you ever seen
a car so small? It is my undercoat. Aunt, are you not ashamed? They are international players. And you give them chores. They are so good at it. I do not like something
about you. During a match
you start drinking. What is all that? There is a time. Archana, my husband
gets the set up done after seven in evening.
Some snacks and then comes drinks. Not in the day. Stop it. That is not alcohol. What? Yes. Water it is, then? And I was wondering
how can they hit shots after being drunk. It is so much fun. Chahal, my boy. I wanted to ask you something. Are you angry at Kohli? Whose? Why? I saw it in a match. Kohli asked him to go
to the gully. Why would he do that? Why? He grew up playing
in such alleys. And now he is
a national player. How can Kohli say that? Just because Anushka
is his wife he thinks he can boss around! Aunt! Gully is a position. You ask the players
to stand at the gully. No wonder I thought
he is cunning. As he was on the ground
the entire time. One more thing. Do not tell me
of alleys. I am from Delhi. When I go out
in the alleys people used to chant my name! Calling me out! Kammo!
Kammo! Kammo!
Kammo! That is what it was! Piyush. – Yes?
– Come here. Closer. Tell Dhoni not to get
his helmet off. A heavy fine awaits. He just takes it off. Those a traffic rules,
not in cricket. Well, what about the police
in the white dress? Stop it now. That is an umpire. Who said that? Everyone says that. Really? Yes. An umpire. Yes. You must let him play.
He is always standing. For so long. Aunt, he has to watch. Really? He is paid for that. He gets paid for that? Yes. So we have folk like Archana
even in cricket? Amazing! What a luck! Let me tell you. He is a married man. He folded
all the underpants. Chahal could not even
fold one pajamas. Show it to me. Tell me, what is a pajamas? This is a sari. Find a pajama. Here it is. Fold it. Well done, my dear. Wow!
Very good! Look at him. Wow! God bless you. Come on.
Take my blessings. These are called good kids. You chose one.
So, I should leave now. I have to prepare
a dish with these too. Because I took it out
from a dish too. They didn’t eat it.
So, I took it out. Okay.
You chose a brief. Whose brief is that? Do you think it’s a proud thing
to say on national television that it’s yours? Give me that, dear. But.. Bharti.. Bharti.. Give me your hand. Take my blessings again. Very good, my dear. Okay, I should leave now.
– Okay. Archana, see you! It was lots of fun. I have to put
these in a dish. Mr. Piyush and Yuzvendra there are rumours on celebrities
which becomes viral. So, we ask them directly.
We don’t believe in rumours. Piyush, there’s a rumour
about you. In the ground, you face
problems related to toilet. That’s why you have requested
the management to have a drink break
and a toilet break as well. Is it true?
– No. It’s a absolute rumour.
– It’s a rumour.. Because, we can anyway
use toilet anytime with the permission of umpire.
– That’s true. So, who takes care
of the field in your place? The one who is already
finished with the toilet. Yuzvendra, we have heard
you were fond of riding donkeys in your childhood.
– Really? Is it true? I have done it once or twice. Okay.. Why? I was around 7-8 years old. Seniors used to go
for cross country. Okay.
– They used to take kids who are 7-8 years old. I was so much interested
in cricket. So I used to get up at 5:00 a.m.
– Okay. So, somehow I used to
reach there. While returning,
everyone used to be tired. So, that time donkeys
were there. They used to make me sit
on donkeys. So that’s how I rode donkeys.
– So sweet! Yuzvendra, there’s another
rumour about you. Your dad wanted you
to become a wrestler. But when he found out
you are so skinny he lost hope.
Is it true? He understood it
when I was 11-12 years old. He realised, I can’t do it. Piyush, there’s a rumour
that you started playing cricket because
you wanted to go abroad. You wanted to travel.
– That’s also true. But study was not my cup of tea. So, I thought
I should play cricket. My dad also supported me. He said I should play
and by that I can get a job through sports quota. So, I started playing. In future, people will
read about you. What you are doing now
that matters the most. You are playing for the country.
We are proud of you. Yuzvendra, during your childhood
your dad used to ride scooter slowly, in the fear
that you will fly away. Is it a rumour or is it true? That’s why I used to sit
behind him. All of us know
that Yuzvendra is a bachelor. Sir, there must be marraige
proposals coming for him. You are so young.
Don’t you say them you are also up for it? How do you deal with
those proposals? I am waiting for his reply.
We will go for it when he says yes.
– You should note it. Look, he’s not telling
you to marry. He says, he’s waiting
for your reply. Why aren’t you saying yes.
Why are you refusing? There’s time for that.
I think one or two years. Oh, I see!
– Yes. Now it’s under process. Yuzvendra is so naughty.
I have seen him in commercials. I saw a commercial
of you and Virat Kohli. The one with the pizza. There we can see and feel
by looking at your relationship that
you are younger so he loves you
but pulls your legs as well. That usually happens
because it’s been 6-7 years we have a bonding. Nowadays, we have stated
playing dumb charades. – Okay. Recently, we were playing
against West Indies. – Okay. He wanted to order something. So, this is English
and this is Hindi. He did like this. He wanted a banana. Ms. Archana, don’t you think
Yuzvendra is skinny? But he can pick-up animals
like horse and elephants. What!
Really? In chess.
– Okay.. I would like to inform
the audience he was a junior national level
chess champion. Give a big round
of applause for him. He has also played
in world championship. That’s great. Absolutely. He’s a multitalented guy.
– Right. So, like we have names
for the pieces in chess. If you are asked to give
titles for the players of Indian Cricket Team
according to chess. So, who do you think is a Rook? Rishabh Pant. Rishabh Pant!
Why? By looking at his size.
Also, he walks like that. By size.. Okay, who’s the Bishop? Bishop means, who’s a bit crook. Well, there are about
four players who are crooked. Really? Well, we can say
Mr. Shami a Bishop. Mohammed Shami?
– Yes. Is he crooked? Who’s a Knight in the team? Knight is the one who runs well. Everyone is fit.
So, I think all are Knights. Wow!
– Actually, no doubt. Who’s the Queen? Nowadays, there’s only
one King and Queen. It’s Mr. Virat and Ms. Anushka. Piyush, sometimes
it must be happening. When you are on ground
and you aren’t bowling. I mean, you are about to bowl. So, the cameraman puts the focus on a beautiful girl.
– Right. So, does it affect your bowling? You with an excuse
for checking out a girl. While fielding, sometimes
eyes goes there when they project it
on the big screens. – Okay. But it doesn’t affect bowling. Because, we are already tense. We need to take a wicket
without giving them runs. So, not while bowling.
But as soon as the over gets over, you can go
to the boundary and check them out. Ms. Chawla, are you listening
to him? In TV, she must be looking
keeping an eye on you. She comes to stadiums
in almost all the matches. So, she knows.
– Oh, I see! So, you are already
under surveillance. She sets her RADAR on me. I think your wife will write
a letter to BCCI after listening to this. He should be given chance
for bowling and batting. But keep him away from fielding. Yuzvendra, I want to ask you
something as an elder brother.
Tell me the truth. How many cheer leaders
do you know by their name? I mean.. It’s a personal question.
We won’t telecast it on TV. Around 4-5. Bollywood and cricket
have an old connection. We have seen that the actors
watch the match in the stadiums. There are many couples
from both fields too. You too must be watching films.
Who is your favourite? Katrina Kaif. Well done. Very nice! And yours, Piyush?
– Preity Zinta. Preity Zinta?
– Yes. – Wow! Katrina and Preity are both
sweet and good actresses. Who is your favourite hero?
– Mr. Shah Rukh. – Wow! And yours, Yuzvendra?
– Mine are Akshay Kumar and Randeep Hooda.
– Oh, wow! So, you all know how many
marriage proposals the cricketers who are
bachelors get.. Mr. Chahal you must be getting
some proposals. Many girls have a dream of
marrying star cricketers who are famous
and whom people love. I have a question. I want
to know if it’s advantageous or disadvantageous to
marry a cricketer. The lady over there.
Hand her the mic, please. Greetings, Mr. Kapil. Hello!
– Greetings, how are you? I’m fine. How are you?
– I’m fine. What’s your name?
– Jaswant Kaur. Where have you come from,
Jaswant? – Himachal Pradesh. It’s a beautiful place.
I love Himachal Pradesh. Where do you stay
in Himachal Pradesh? In Kangra.
– Okay, welcome to the show. Thank you, sir. – So, what do
you want to say, Jaswant? Sir, I want to
state the advantages of marrying a cricketer.
– How do you know that? Sir, I’m not yet married
but I do know some advantages. Okay, tell us about it.
– Sir, first of all cricketers are very wealthy.
– Oh, God! Very honest girl. – Yes, sir.
– I’m proud of you. If I marry a cricketer I’d become a millionaire
overnight. And I’d also get to travel
across the world with them. Wow! That’s right. It’s allowed
to travel with your spouse right? – Yes.
– So, your points are good. What else?
– Sir, they are very famous. Yes. – And my fan following
on social networking sites will increase overnight. And
I’ll be famous as well. – Wow! Well, she’s talking like
a selfish girl. But, Jaswant, you were quite
honest. Thank you, Jaswant. Thank you, sir.
– Anyone else? Yes, ma’am? Hello, sir. – Hello!
– Greetings! – Greetings! Welcome! – Greetings.
– Hello, Ms. Archana. I’m Jyoti. I’ve come from Nawanshahr,
Punjab. – Okay. Welcome. …to watch your show.
And I want to say that one shouldn’t marry a cricketer.
– Why? – Oh!- According to me. Why? – Because cricketers spend
most of their time outside. They don’t stay at home.
They spend time outside more. Okay. – So, I don’t like it.
– Okay. And secondly, cricket has been
connected to the glamour world. So, many girls become their fan.
– Okay. – It makes me insecure. So sweet! – So, I’d never
want to marry them. She was also very honest. – Yes.
So, I never want my husband to be a cricketer.
There are so many cheerleaders. If they hit a six or fours, you
wonder where they disappeared. That’s the reason. – The world
is focused on winning the match but only the wife is worried
where her husband is focused. Right.
– And even he must be thinking that his wife is watching him. ‘So, let me focus on
the wickets.’ Ma’am, even a man’s life
is not easy. – Oh, my! What does your husband do?
– He’s a businessman. Okay. – He’s here with me.
– Greetings, sir. How are you? You make a lovely couple.
– Thank you. – You’re welcome. I’ve brought a small gift
for you. So sweet, thank you so much.
Thank you. – Her husband is not insecure now? – Is he
your son? – Yes. – He’s cute. I have two sons.
– Thank you. It’s his birthday. – Thank you.
Greetings, sir. Welcome. Greetings.. Wow! That’s pretty!
– I’ll come there. Thank you. It’s beautiful. Wow! – Do you like it?
– Very nice. It’s beautiful! Thank you so much..
– Thank you.. – Thank you, dear. I’d like to say a few lines for
you. – A few lines? Yes, please. Look, Archana, have your fans
ever given you a gift? I have no fan.
– I see. Please, ma’am. May that day never come.. ‘May that day never come that
your pride crosses all limits.’ ‘By His grace, may everyone
shower blessings on you.’ So sweet! Thank you.. Beautiful!
– I want to hug you once. Thank you, ma’am.
Thank you so much, ma’am. Thank you.. Thank you so much,
– Thank you.. Anyone else?
One of our friends.. Yes, sir. Please give him a mic. Hello, everyone.
– Hello. I am Imtiaz. Hold it up. I am Imtiaz. I cannot hear you.
Where are you speaking from? Where are you from? I am from Odisha.
– Welcome. I would like to say
if I were a girl.. What then? I’d marry a cricketer. Is that so?
Why? Why?
– why? If I am a girl.. One that lives a life hidden inside.. Is this how you are
in life? Often, it is
the truth. Why.. Girls these days are way better than guys. They have reached fame
in every field. So why would you be
a simpleton? I was just saying. Be that as it may,
what would you do then? I would marry a cricketer.
– Why is that? Then I would become
a celebrity overnight as the cricketers
are a celebrity. And then I could get a chance
to be here as a guest. Do you sometimes
wish to cross dress? No! Not at all. I hope everything
is fine with you. Cool.
it is an imagination. Yes. You are good. You reached
another lifetime. Are you married?
– Not yet. Not yet?
– Yes. When will you get married? Mom will handle this. You are indeed
a gentle one. No matter how kind
you are. The world always
exploits. Stay good.
Stay inside a blanket. Thank you. Thank you, Imtiaz. Anyone else? Hello, Madam. Hello everyone. Hello, Kapil.
Hello, Ms. Archana. You are looking
very beautiful today. Thank you so much. Thank you. I would like to say that it is not good
to marry a cricketer. Why is that? – They will
not fear their wives. I am a short tempered
person. If I am to throw something
at them, they’ll catch it. They will no longer fear us that we might attack them. Love has no room for violence. There is room for rage
in love. But it does not mean
you hurl things! Such is my rage. Who is here with you? I am with my husband. Poor chap.
Tormented. Are you fine? How are you?
– Fine. Has she ever hurled
anything at you? You are the only relief. Sir, thank you for coming. Thank you. Amazing! Bro! Go! How are you? Yeah! Kappu Sharma,
quite a crowd you got. Please be seated. Be seated.
No need to honour him. He claims to have
returned from London. I think he is faking it. I will tolerate that. It is okay. Mr. Piyush.
I’d like to know. While bowing
to your elders do you prefer leg side
or the off side? Crickets!
– LBW! Correct. It is great. We have got
all players here. You guys here and Ms. Archana. How is she a player? She got Mr. Sidhu out. Let me tell you. I am Accha Yadav. I have come from London. I was there in London
and I saw you there. It was the rains. Rains?
It was cricket in the world cup! No, there was
more rain this time. So that is what I saw. I was fed up. I wated to know. You all hit bouncer
and you get away. I went to a club
yesterday to party. I hit a bouncer at a club
and they chase me! Are you stupid! That is not the same. What?
– Yes. They are not the same! I hit another bouncer! You have told me of this
and now I am.. I almost forgot. I had it on me.. Come on!
‘Dal’. You have confused me. And now let me
steer clear. Let me help you. Let me push you. A push.. – If possible,
give me a good push. Then the luck
might favour me. Do you know anything
about cricket? You are speaking nonsense.
– Hey, cricket? It’s in my that..
What do they call it? What do the doctors have
in the hospital? – A patient. No..
– Nurse.. – A compounder? No, pal.
It is used in the surgeries. His aunt’s son.
– Aunt’s son? Yes.
– Sister.. How can a doctor’s cousin
assist him during a surgery? This man is purposely
making my joke fail. He knows I am looking
for the word ‘Blood’. He is not saying it.
I wanted to say that cricket
is in my blood. I love it so much.
Do you know why? Sir, I want to tell you
that my great-grandfather had created
the game of cricket. How?
– One day, my great-grandfather was playing ‘Gilli Danda’.
– All right. – Suddenly it started raining heavily. His
stick, ‘Danda’, was drenched. He saw that his ‘Gilli’
was drenched too. Now, everything was drenched. He couldn’t continue his game
with drenched equipment. He said that this wasn’t good. He went inside his house
and got two more sticks. He stuck three
sticks on the ground and placed two small pieces
of wood or ‘Gilli’ on them. Thus he created
the game of cricket! I came to know that he was
arrested for pickpocketing. It happened later. All right. Stop talking
about him and talk about them. I will.. Sir, your game.. Your business is great.
– He is not into business. He is a bowler.
– Even bowling is a business. How?
– He gives 30 runs and takes 3 wickets. Or he gives 40 runs
and takes 4 wickets. This give and take policy
is used in business. Come on, pal. Idiot!
– Idiot..- What! Idiot.. Sometimes, he takes wickets
without giving any runs. Well, even she takes
her payment without laughing. To tell you the truth there is so much
partiality in cricket. What do you mean?
– Sir, you tell me the third umpire sits in an air-conditioned room. The first umpire stands on
the ground and bears the heat. Isn’t this wrong? – We can’t
air-condition the ground. All right.
Give him a chilled beer. So, he.. – It’s so hot there.
– He will drink while umpiring. He is umpiring not driving.
He can’t be arrested. This is not a big deal. What will happen
if he umpires while drinking? They signal a sixer like this.
After drinking they will dance
while signalling it. They signal a wide ball
with straight hands. Later, they will
signal it with a wave. It doesn’t matter, pal. Perhaps, they will
be signed by ‘Super Dancer’ after witnessing
their dancing skills. Then it would raise
the TRP of the show and the channel
might rake in profits. You don’t think about
profiting the channel, pal. You are a very..
That man.. What is it called? That..
A man who vends fish. What do you mean?
– Selfish.. – Vend means to sell so you are a selfish man! Wait a minute. Oh, my.. Look at this.
I got a message from London. It’s Queen Elizabeth.
She has sent me a message. Enough. I have
seen the message. Why would she message you?
– Will she give me a massage? She will send
me a message, right? Oh, she has invited me.
– Why? – It’s her wedding.. What do they call it?
Oh, in the film, ‘Sholay’ when Jai and Veeru see
that Thakur doesn’t have hands for the first time..
How did they look at him? What did Thakur drop?
– He dropped his jersey. A jersey..
– It rhymes with anniversary. It’s her wedding anniversary. Why can’t you
say things properly? Anniversary..
– Pal, no matter what you say she has invited me,
not you. Having relationships
is important. As if you have
relatives in London. Indeed.. Hey! I have so many
relatives. What do you know? What?
– Wait a minute.. Let me take Katy Perry’s call. Hello. Yes, Katy Perry?
So, tell me. How are you? Katy..
– You don’t need to be formal. First, tell me.
Why were you upset with me? Oh..
– This isn’t the first time you are behaving like this.
Even I am angry now. I won’t talk to you.
I am cutting the call now. Did you see my attitude?
– Yes. I need to leave now.
I have much work in London. I am leaving, sir.
– Yes, pal! – Yes, pal! I will leave now.
I will meet you the next time. Thank you very much, sir.
– Yes, pal. – Yes. – Thank you. I love you. I will meet you.
I love you! I need to leave. Let me tell my audience
that Yuzvendra is not only representing India
internationally but for the betterment
of Indian sports he has joined hands
with many NGOs. He is also the
co-founder of an NGO. Along with his childhood
friend, Piyush Sachdeva he started this NGO in 2012.
Yuzvendra, please tell everyone what your NGO does.
– We have two NGOs. Indian Sports and
The Women’s Sports Foundation. Okay.
– We provide clothes to girls studying in standard
fourth to ninth in villages. Okay. – We provide them
clothes. If they are interested in sports,
we provide them sports kits. Okay.
– The background I am from I have seen that people have
talent but they lack resources. Yes. – So, I am doing it
to help them and perhaps.. They might
be here in future. Sir, you are doing a great job
through your NGO. – Thank you. Thank you..
– I congratulate you. We are so proud of you.
– Thank you, sir. A big round of applause
for Yuzvendra Chahal and Piyush Chawla.
Please come, sir.. Thank you, sir.
I hope you had fun. It was great to meet you two.
– Thank you.. All the best for all your
future endeavours. – Thanks.. Keep playing for our country
and make us proud. Thank you so much. So, all of you keep laughing
and smiling. Keep your
surroundings clean. Avoid single-use plastics.
It’s good for the environment. Keep smiling.
Goodnight! Thank you!

100 thoughts on “The Kapil Sharma Show Season 2 – Ep 107 – Full Episode – 12th January, 2020

  1. The nani character was very annoying thank god she left the show😪
    Kapil : don’t worry I’ll make another one ☝️….. bua arrives….😒😒🤥
    “Bua aa geyi” 😑😑😑

  2. Ley,
    – Wajir kaun hai?
    – Indian team me king queen to ek hi – Virat bhaiya aur Anushka bhabi… 🙏
    Anushka Indian team ki wajir hai… Aur kya chahiye

  3. cricket useless sports and most of the sports in India are corrupted and have been exploiting many players especially females !! why not any other game and sports player coming on this show I dont get it !!

  4. Yr Kapil tu kuch bhi kr ley Dr. Mashoor gulati k Bina Tera show ki koi value ni h ab ya to usy show me waps LA ya to fr jhang k liye tyar hoja

  5. To Be Honest It was A Boring Show. Not Of The Kapil Sharma Caliber. The jokes weren't funny. They Have To rise their standards which They Set.

  6. Trading stocks, Forex, options, and cryptocurrency Discover the perfect platform for Trading on multiple charts, technical analysis, quote history, and more. Everything you need on the platform is available on any device of your choice.

  7. Ek baar bhi hassi nh ayi kapil shrma plz take dr gulati or u r show will be end soon i like only sapna …. this is my fev show but now crime petrol is better then uuuu

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