The School Nurse: A Special Report


– Good morning, Mark.
– Good morning. – How are you doing today?
– Yeah. A little bit of a headache,
but other than that, I’m pretty good. – [Narrator] Michelle Brasier’s worked in the school health system
for the last 47 years. She’s seen a dramatic
increase in both the variety and severity of conditions
that children come in with. – I’m a little boy, and I’ve hurt my knee. – I’m sorry, hun. Do you want me to call your mum? – I’d love for you to call my mummy, don’t tell the other boys though. – Children used to come in
with such simple things. A grazed knee or a sick tum. It’s just gotten so
complicated these days. Mark, could you just raise
your hand one more time for me?
– Absolutely. – Just your other hand.
– Ah, right. – Just shall we look at. How did you get that through there? – I was at home.
– Uh-huh. – I had breakfast. I jammed a stick through my hand. Then, I did math class.
– Just stop for a second. – So somewhere in between those events. – What’s going on? Are you anaphylactic? Broden. Broden Kelly, what’s
happening, what’s this? Broden, why have you given me an EpiPen? What’s happening, Broden,
uh-uh, Broden, Broden, no. Broden, sit.
– Ah. – Right. And that–
– That’s fine. – Just sit down.
– I can’t see. – Plop down, we’re gonna–
– I can’t see. I can’t see anything.
– Have you tried opening your eyes?
(boy gasps) Okay, okay, all right.
(boy shrieks) Okay, you never know
what issue’s gonna come through the door next so
you’re always on your toes, which is exciting. – It’s printing! – Okay.
– Woo! – Okay.
– Woo! – Oh, that’s it, okay. All right.
– Woo! – There’s a man in my ham sandwich. – Pardon? – I said there’s a man. There’s a man in my ham sandwich. Why’s there a man in there? – I got 10–
(chattering) – Oh.
– If you tell anyone about this, I will find out where you live. – All right.
– And I’ll burn your house down. Because this 10 is for Mark. – Come.
– I’m land locked! – Sit down.
– Where’s the sea? – Hey.
(Broden hums) Mm, salty air on my lungs. (grunts) The sea breeze,
breathe it in, boys. Take in that sea breeze, boys. – Oh no, he’s gone.
– Who? Who’s gone, Zach?
– I found him. – Okay.
– He’s gone. I found him. He’s gone. He’s back. He’s gone. – Is this a cowboy?
– He’s back! – Sometimes, it doesn’t even
feel like sick children. It feels like the same
three 30-year-old men walking in and doing weird shit. (man laughs) (man groans) – (laughs) I’m here. (man hums) No. (man groans) – Hi.
(man groans) – A gun shot.
– What? Oh no.
(man thumps) – Oh no! – Up, we go!
– Yes, get me onto the bed.
– Okay. – Yes. Very good. Will you make an honest woman of yourself? – Pardon? – You must marry Lord Brussleton. – Pardon? – You must marry Lord Brussleton. – I’m not–
– Then you shall make me the happiest father that’s ever did live. (prestigious music) (man exhales) – Gun shot, next on Nine. I’ve had a gun shot to my abdomen. – You want a lollipop?
– Ah, fuck yeah. – [Narrator] As for the
solutions, Michelle has no idea. – I mean, it’s just so
complicated, isn’t it? It’s like my mum used to say. I think there is nothing that
can’t be fixed by a smile. – I’m a little baby. I just came out of a vagina. (upbeat music) Nothing you’re doing is wrong This – you don’t think this would upset Jesus? I – I think you couldn’t upset Jesus if you tried. – You think Jesus Christ would see me, Mark Bonnano doing this, for this fuckin’ shoot – Yes?
– And he’d be like… “You’re gettin’ in”

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