“Transmetropolitan: On the Stump” Scene

Goddamn cheap
Australian whores. Jerusalem? Mr. President. I was just
talking about you. Imagine meeting you here. SPIDER: I guess it’s true what they say about
your relationship with the secret service, eh? Don’t worry about this. It’s just a
sound proofing can. I thought we might have
a little privacy for a while. SPIDER: I’m honored you
remember my name. Oh, I remember your
name, you fuck. I remember everything
you wrote about me. It’s because of you everyone
calls me the “Beast.” Everyone. The press, the cabinet,
my children. Quit whining. You deserved
every fucking word. You pissed in the economy. You shat on the law, and you
wiped your ass with the truth. You ought to be peeled, salted, driven
through the streets by mental patients with spiked planks and then used as a
toilet and a jizz-catcher by baboons in heat. At best. I heard you quit the city
because you lost your nerve. I quit the city because you were
turning it and the entire country into a mirror image of yourself. PRESIDENT: Bullshit. You’re afraid of a real America. All you bleeding heart
pissants are the same. There is no “real America,”
you living afterbirth. There’s no real city. All there
is, is what we make it. And what you want to make it is a big fucking sore that
oozes money like pus. You’re a wimp, and a freak, Jerusalem. All that shit you wrote about “turning
our backs on the concept of compassion” if a vote went to me. They don’t want compassion. It don’t sell. You can’t make a living off it. The city went to me in a
landslide, and do you know why? Because all it wants
is decent television, a bit of spare change for booze, and a blowjob every Saturday night. You might be right. You might be.
But I don’t care. The weasel journalist
don’t care. You’ve got your
vote for hate. And I’ve got a column. And I’m not going to
rest until you’re raped, burned, castrated, and
dog-shit stuffed corpse is strung up in the middle of
century square for all the necrophile boys to play with. I must leave now. But, before I go, I’ve got something
to show you. SPIDER: This is a bowel disrupter. It has no signature – Its usage can’t be
detected on a body. It has several settings. SPIDER: See this dial? “Loose.” “Watery.” “Prolapse.”

100 thoughts on ““Transmetropolitan: On the Stump” Scene

  1. Pretty good adaptation. Would've loved to have seen the part where Spider leaves smiling and the guards go "Help! The President's shat himself!"

  2. I think you're missing his slight spazzy-ness, but other than that I really enjoyed it!
    Read this issue the other day and loved it.
    Spider is the best. Is missing out on the "Help! The president's shat himself!"

  3. Any ANY president doesnt even fukin sneeze without a LEAST 10 security guards around him/her Little privacy my ass nice try…

  4. Prez does a good job, but Spider was not quite right. He's got the bitter anger, but none of the maniacal glee that makes the anger fun to watch in the comic.

  5. Shave your head!!! This is essential.
    just playing Jerusalem makes you a lubricant on legs.
    call me.

  6. I was overjoyed to see this. my only critique is – in reference to Spider; less Bill Compton, more Hunter S. Thompson.

  7. Not bad overall. Good camera work, nice shots. The Beast was excellent, though Spider needs a little voice work (try mimicing Hunter S. Thompson, the inspiration for Spider). And shave that fucking head, for fucks sake!

  8. Not bad,but not excellent either…unfortunately,the choice of spider is not convincing at all….all the rest is brilliant,shots properly….beast is magnificent …..but not enough tension….i will keep on eye on that work tho….keeps me interested…………..

  9. They've been trying to make it a film, they just don't have the cash or wanted actors yet. They want Tim Roth to be Spider, but no choices for the Smiler, filthy assistants or most other characters. This, however, is pretty much how I imagined my hero Spider sounding.

  10. I have sepnt much time thinking who should play who in any TRANSMET movie. Give me your suggestions, i.e. Willem Dafoe as The Smiler

  11. RE – Transmetropolitan. If you read Warren Ellis's statements, this is all incorrect. Tim roth was never a choice to play Spider, and it's not that they didn't have the cash, but no one would ever put it on screen. Patrick Stewart offered them the cash, but there's no way a concept like this would ever get into hollywood.

  12. Yet Battleship (the fucking board game) became hugely successful in one weekend…. Plus Candyland and Monopoly are getting the film treatment. THIS should become a movie. It's far more original and just straight better.
    Also, I'm just going with what little info I can find on any possible Transmet movie. There is almost nothing, as even Ellis says there won't be one.

  13. it would make an awesome live action movie but id rather see it like an american version of Akira all hand drawn and stuff but made by the guys who made Heavy Metal which is also hand drawn of course but more specifically the guys who made the Captain Sternn segment of Heavy Metal since every segment has different animators. that was always my favorite part of Heavy Metal and reminds me of the style of Transmetropolitan but in a giant space station instead of a city

  14. good job, but i don't think live action would be a good honest depiction of Sprider Jerusalem's cheshire cat grin. Really if anyone does an adaptation of Transmetropolitan i pray it is animated

  15. it really should just get turned into a show like that. it would definitely be rated MA haha no question about that

  16. Or the people who make The Boondocks or Cowboy Beebop …as long as they don't make Channon and Yelana look like anime women.

  17. ya it could look cool as a Cowboy Bebop style animation but Transmetropolitan is far from anime so i think it would look better with an American style animation like the old Heavy Metal movie or Aeon Flux

  18. sadly, no american company has the balls to create edgy animation-Too busy making happy meal movies. I'm female and I'm sick of Disney already. DC does excellent animation but Warren Ellis needs to be in charge of the project. Spider is better as his foul mouthed self-uncensored

  19. nice effort.
    our opinions differ greatly on personality type with regard to vocals.
    but whatevs.
    A for effort, regardless.

  20. Coool! I like the effort. Would be nice to have a TV series or something eventually come out of that series of amazing comics

  21. WOW! I was hoping there would be a Transmetroplitan series on youtube, AND SURE ENOUGH. awesome work. The lust for life issue is the only copy of Transmetropolitan that I own unfortunately. I've forgotten how funny it was.

  22. i can see this guy being a good spider, but he seems too smart assy. He needs to be a little stronger in voice. The beast should not be so eloquent. he's loud and belligerent.

  23. Anyone know where someone can buy the Transmetropolitan Spider Jerusalem Statue? That is the one where he is on the toilet.

  24. It's be cool to have a post-credits additional scene with Spider walking off as the Secret Service find the President in the bathroom. "THE PRESIDENT'S SHAT HIMSELF!"

    That, and the same actors doing the Spider/Beast interview from The New Scum (I think, been a while since I read the books so my memory's hazy).

  25. I saw a show a few years ago where some skin head in a suit was giving a speech at an award ceremony. he started by telling the audience he had taken some drugs before coming onstage and he might get rather high during his speech. he went on to talk about the growing number of cameras and us being watched. he said to give the fuckas something to watch and fuck in the living room with the curtains open. can anyone send me the link as i cannot find that video anywhere now

  26. Very well done gentlemen, however I don't remember Spider having hair… but all the same, great fan film.

  27. I love that this exists. I personally imagine Spider to be louder and more ranty, but y'know, interpretation. Thanks for making this! 

  28. Naw, you have to give your actor about forty cappucinos before the shoot, and channel some fuckiong anger, for Fred's sake!

  29. There was a lot about this that worked. The soundtrack was good, the cinematography wasn't bad, bits of the performance really worked. You definitely need some better lighting, or running the footage through something to make it look a little nicer. I would also suggest as advice to the lead that he not go quite so theatrical with the part. A lot of comments say Spider should be more hyperactive and angry. I disagree. Remember that Spider is based pretty directly on Hunter Thompson, so watch some footage with him in interviews, or take a look at Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, it's actually a pretty good portrayal of the man. Spider is high in this scene. He's also gleeful. Probably the biggest fix you could make to the overall tone is what you did with the start and the end. All you need is a corridor, a security guard, and a woman to play Channon. The scene doesn't start with Spider leaning on the door and lighting a cigarette, it begins with him bursting in the room because after days of drug abuse he needs a shit. He is absolutely astonished at his luck to walk into a bathroom with the president. So you need those beats of him telling Channon why he's going in there and you need the final comedy beat of "Oh my god, the presidents shit himself." But overall, really very good attempt.

  30. He needs to shave his head and act more like depp did in fear and loathing. I also wish the bowel disruptor looked like it did in the comic but other than that and some mediocre acting I was happy to see this

  31. Not bad. Not great, but a good start. With a little more effort, I think Transmet may get another reboot sometime in my lifetime.

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