Wanda Sykes on Football


– I HATE TO EVEN BRING THIS UP, BECAUSE WE’RE BOTH
HUGE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS FANS. – [groans] – AND THEY ARE NOT DOING SO WELL
LATELY. – NO, NO.
THAT WAS BRUTAL. – THAT WAS A HARD GAME TO WATCH. – THAT COWBOYS GAME WAS BRUTAL.
– YEAH, THAT WAS– [scattered cheers and applause] WELL, GOOD FOR YOU,
YOU COWBOYS FANS. HAPPY FOR YOU. I MEAN, NO,
THEY PLAYED VERY WELL. ANYWAY, DOES ALEX–
WE’LL JUST IGNORE THAT GAME. BUT DOES ALEX WATCH FOOTBALL
WITH YOU? – YES AND NO. SHE’LL WATCH A GAME. AND SHE DECIDED TO WATCH
THAT PARTICULAR GAME WITH ME, WHICH MADE IT EVEN, YOU KNOW,
HARDER. IT WAS JUST BRUTAL,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, LIKE, SHE’LL WATCH A LITTLE BIT, AND I’M JUST SITTING THERE,
JUST DEPRESSED. AND THEN SHE’LL GO… [high-pitched French accent]
“OH. IS THAT ANOTHER TOUCHDOWN?” [laughter] “YEAH, YEAH.
COWBOYS JUST SCORED AGAIN.” “OH. “OKAY, SO THE OTHER TEAM,
THE ONE THAT’S LOSING BADLY, THAT’S YOUR TEAM?” [laughter] “YEAH, THAT’S MY TEAM.” “OH, LOOK! “THEY SCORED AGAIN. I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD SCORE
THIS MANY POINTS IN A…” AND I WAS JUST SITTING THERE
GOING, “WHY DON’T YOU GO TO BED? “WHY DON’T YOU– “AND LET OUR CREEPY LITTLE
WHITE KIDS SCARE YOU TO DEATH? WHY DON’T YOU DO THAT?” – OH, GOD. DOES SHE SMOKE,
OR IS THIS JUST SOMETHING SHE DOES
WITH HER FINGERS? – NO, THAT’S JUST HOW I SEE HER,
‘CAUSE SHE’S FRENCH. [laughter and applause] – WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK,
BUT WE’LL BE BACK. [cheers and applause]

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