Who is Bat Boy??

Who is this? Who is this? Who is this? Who is this? Who is this? Quit jingling. Cat trying to ruin everything. I love you. Bat Boy, Bat Boy. What is this thing, Bat Boy? Look at him, look at him, got the velvet pants, the bat wings. Stupid bear face. You know he’s done something. Look at that. Look at that, guilty, guilty all over his face! *squeak* Okay, so recently a friend of mine gave me an etsy gift card, and I saw this on there and I was deeply amused. Deeply amused by this Bat Boy. Not the Bat Boy you’re thinking of, it’s not that Bat Boy, That Bat Boy is a different Bat Boy. This is, this is… I don’t know what Bat Boy this is. Look, it’s like they think it’s a Beanie Baby or something. It’s got like a little story in it. Oh, that’s cute. That’s cute. That’s cute. They think that they’re a thing. The costume’s just right for this cub to wear through the night. Flapping his wings, he runs down the street traveling from door to door and yelling trick-or-treat. The candy in his bag grows by the pound as he circles the block again for a second round. At some of the houses the residents don’t put up with his act. Instead they say “going around the block twice, you can’t do that!” He tells them that he and the other boy are not the same. Sometimes he even gives them a different name. What he doesn’t realize however is that these homeowners know better. Especially since this little cub has his name spelled out on his sweater. Classic Bat Boy. What other crimes have you committed? What secrets do you hold? You’re a shifty person and I would never trust you.
*squeak* Is that like his birth name? Bat Boy? Oh my God. Look at this. He’s a bat and a boy. He’s flying! You can’t fly. Stupid.
*squeak* Look, he’s just gonna fall, this is gonna get him no traction in the air, no air traction, sweater ain’t fit right. What an idiot. Would your mom dress you? If I was your mom, I’d be Idiot. I just… how can you not… how can you not love Bat Boy? How can you not love this? Like, it’s so- I just don’t, I just don’t… I just don’t. And who could forget dear sweet Bat Boy. Bat… Boy… Boy. If you look up Bat Boy, you come up with the Weekly World News Bat Boy, which was an infamous… Tall tale of sorts. That’s not the Bat Boy we are looking for. Oh, creator Dick Kulpa, born 1982, 36-7. Alright. Bat Boy’s getting up there, not really a boy anymore. Okay. So this is from something called the Bearington Collection. Looking at the website. Mmm, terrifying, there’s a… baby. Scary stuff. It must be a Bearington. Welcome to the Bearington collection, a family owned and operated business that is committed to creating award-winning teddy bears and baby products at the most affordable prices in the industry. I’ll be the judge of that. Oh, I clicked on the baby collection accidentally, where the bears? Whiffer sniffers. Eww. Well, I want no part of that. Gimme the traditional teddy bears. Oh, that’s cute. Gimme the holiday bears in front. Yeah Halloween. What I’m looking for. You got Morty Mummy. Jenna Jack-o’-lantern. Beary Scary. Gabby and Gobbles. Oh, these are just precious. I don’t even see Bat Boy on there. Look, I got an exclusive, an exclusive! Oh, that be under retired bears and friends. He’s an old man. He’s not even a Bat Boy anymore, is he? What were they doing in 1998? I’m gonna take it on a tour of my apartment. Oh my God, we’re locked in. Yeah, fly! [Puma Man Theme] You hungry? Don’t look now, she’s right behind you and she’s really blown out. *meow* Aww. They’re friends.
*muah* Anyway, this bear is hilarious. I don’t really get his whole deal. I rate it 10 out of 10. Well, so there you have it. There’s what a Bat Boy is. What a wondrous journey we’ve been on. I can’t wait to go on so many more adventures with my new friend Bat Boy and watch him become a Bat Man.
*fly buzzes* If you like this video, you should subscribe, click the bell… Yeaaaaaah!

100 thoughts on “Who is Bat Boy??

  1. Dick Kulpa? Well, at least he admits it's his fault.

    Ya see, I took the high road when I could have made an impotency joke.

  2. while I don't have Bat Boy on my shelf, I do have a plush Pain Elemental from Doom hanging out above my DVDs & Blu-Rays. he needs a Cacodemon friend to hang out with. who wouldn't want to cuddle with a Cacodemon? XD

  3. ‘Cause Bat Boy’s got personality
    Walks, with personality
    Talks, with personality
    Smiles, with personality…
    Oh wait, that’s Ratboy, nevermind…

  4. That is…actually a bloody adorable toy.
    Serious part done now.

  5. "Oh, hold me, Bat Boy! Touch me, Bat Boy!

    Help me through the night.

    Love me, Bat Boy! Save me, Bat Boy!

    Make it all turn out all right!"

  6. Thought this was a review of that indie short film until I saw the thumbnail more clearly. I still give this video 5/5 bats.

  7. Some highlights from the retired section…

    Hey look, it's Franny Fedora!

    And Beary Old! He's going to die soon!

    Willie Melt?

    Sonny and Scare!

    Duke McSpook!

    Sir Gus The Monkey Trainer!

    Ima Spinster! Look at all of her cats!

    Bobby Boo!

    And last but not least, because I looked through every gosh dang one of these friggin bears, retired in 2005,

    Bat Boy!

  8. He needs a proper costume. Perhaps a miniature Pumaman outfit (cheap turtleneck sweater with Aztec/Inca/whatever mask and corduroys.) Oh, and he needs to whine. A whole lot. Then he'll quit acting altogether to become a lawyer.

  9. So there was a moment that I was super disappointed this wasn't about THAT Bat Boy. Then I was super disappointed in myself.

  10. Well, I can only be angry with myself. It says right on the thumbnail, it's not about the Weekly World News Bat Boy. Red circle with a slash right through it. Stupid Dodge.

  11. The male equivalent to this video would be if i bought a sexy anime figurine and then proceeded to talk to it, answering back in my own voice, but in a mock female tone

    Motoko: Oh My! You look sooooo handsome and strong today!
    Me: Heh, why thank you, and you don't look so bad yourself
    Motoko(but really me): Tee he he he he

    And then i posted it on the internet.

  12. Imagine being Bat Boy, all dressed up and ready to be adopted in a loving home that will take care of him and love him, only to be taken by a crazy lady with fabulous hair and berated for like four minutes with a camera to share with strangers online as non-content.

    I bet Allison put him where Dean can look at him in his creepy dryer lint eyes!

  13. The untold origin of Bat Boy. Batman had Ace, the Bat Hound. Superman had Krypto, the Super Dog. Not to be outdone, the cape crusader looked for another pet. Then discovered the "Super" family added Streaky the Super Cat and Comet the Super Horse. (All true. Look it up.) So, Batman put this outfit on a bear and Bat Boy was born. (Hey, everyone knows that a normal man who dresses up as a bat is not all right in the head.)

  14. Fine. I did it. The great algorithm somehow brought me to you. 6 or so videos later I was pretty sure this was the place for me. But this, this really did it…. Bat boy has melted my icey black heart. I have no choice but to subscribe and bring that goddamn bell. Stupid bat boy. This is all his fault.

  15. I've watched this 3 times in as many days. I can't say why I've done that. I only know I've yet to regret it. Oh Bat Boy, you goofy little bastard, who are you?

  16. Did not know where this video was going throughout the entirety of it. Loved every second. 10/5. Would Bat Boy again. -Matt

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