Who is this? Who is this? Who is this? Who is this? Who is this? Quit jingling. Cat trying to ruin everything. I love you. Bat Boy, Bat Boy. What is this thing, Bat Boy? Look at him, look at him, got the velvet pants, the bat wings. Stupid bear face. You know he’s done something. Look at that. Look at that, guilty, guilty all over his face! *squeak* Okay, so recently a friend of mine gave me an etsy gift card, and I saw this on there and I was deeply amused. Deeply amused by this Bat Boy. Not the Bat Boy you’re thinking of, it’s not that Bat Boy, That Bat Boy is a different Bat Boy. This is, this is… I don’t know what Bat Boy this is. Look, it’s like they think it’s a Beanie Baby or something. It’s got like a little story in it. Oh, that’s cute. That’s cute. That’s cute. They think that they’re a thing. The costume’s just right for this cub to wear through the night. Flapping his wings, he runs down the street traveling from door to door and yelling trick-or-treat. The candy in his bag grows by the pound as he circles the block again for a second round. At some of the houses the residents don’t put up with his act. Instead they say “going around the block twice, you can’t do that!” He tells them that he and the other boy are not the same. Sometimes he even gives them a different name. What he doesn’t realize however is that these homeowners know better. Especially since this little cub has his name spelled out on his sweater. Classic Bat Boy. What other crimes have you committed? What secrets do you hold? You’re a shifty person and I would never trust you.
*squeak* Is that like his birth name? Bat Boy? Oh my God. Look at this. He’s a bat and a boy. He’s flying! You can’t fly. Stupid.
*squeak* Look, he’s just gonna fall, this is gonna get him no traction in the air, no air traction, sweater ain’t fit right. What an idiot. Would your mom dress you? If I was your mom, I’d be Idiot. I just… how can you not… how can you not love Bat Boy? How can you not love this? Like, it’s so- I just don’t, I just don’t… I just don’t. And who could forget dear sweet Bat Boy. Bat… Boy… Boy. If you look up Bat Boy, you come up with the Weekly World News Bat Boy, which was an infamous… Tall tale of sorts. That’s not the Bat Boy we are looking for. Oh, creator Dick Kulpa, born 1982, 36-7. Alright. Bat Boy’s getting up there, not really a boy anymore. Okay. So this is from something called the Bearington Collection. Looking at the website. Mmm, terrifying, there’s a… baby. Scary stuff. It must be a Bearington. Welcome to the Bearington collection, a family owned and operated business that is committed to creating award-winning teddy bears and baby products at the most affordable prices in the industry. I’ll be the judge of that. Oh, I clicked on the baby collection accidentally, where the bears? Whiffer sniffers. Eww. Well, I want no part of that. Gimme the traditional teddy bears. Oh, that’s cute. Gimme the holiday bears in front. Yeah Halloween. What I’m looking for. You got Morty Mummy. Jenna Jack-o’-lantern. Beary Scary. Gabby and Gobbles. Oh, these are just precious. I don’t even see Bat Boy on there. Look, I got an exclusive, an exclusive! Oh, that be under retired bears and friends. He’s an old man. He’s not even a Bat Boy anymore, is he? What were they doing in 1998? I’m gonna take it on a tour of my apartment. Oh my God, we’re locked in. Yeah, fly! [Puma Man Theme] You hungry? Don’t look now, she’s right behind you and she’s really blown out. *meow* Aww. They’re friends.
*muah* Anyway, this bear is hilarious. I don’t really get his whole deal. I rate it 10 out of 10. Well, so there you have it. There’s what a Bat Boy is. What a wondrous journey we’ve been on. I can’t wait to go on so many more adventures with my new friend Bat Boy and watch him become a Bat Man.
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